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Family Property Issue
I am 36 years old, the youngest of 4 siblings (ages 44 - 50). Our father passed away 13 months ago, our mother 15 years ago. When our father died, he left us all an inheritance of IRAs, etc, and also a house, which he intended be sold and the profit split evenly between us. However, we are all emotionally attached to the house, and my sister "C" said she wanted to buy it from us. At the time we were very happy about this, since we would've all loved to keep the house in the family. She moved into the house Dec 08, and has supposedly been trying to get approved for a loan to purchase the property. We are all getting impatient about how long it's taking and also how she doesn't seem to be motivated to buy when she ha been living in it rent free for a year. My other sister "L" wants to buy a house as well, but she can't do so until she gets her share of the sale of the family home. How do I, my brother, and my sister "L" handle this situation? Sister "C" gets defensive when she feels ganged up on, so we are anticipating that any inquiry into her loan status etc. will reult in a blow up of anger & defensiveness. We are all quite close, and want to stay that way, but we also need the emotional and financial stress of this issue to be finished.
Thank you,
"J"
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Hi J. I went through a similar situation when my grandmother passed away.
The first thing to do is to pray about the whole situation before anyone approaches your sister, "C". Next, the rest of the siblings including yourself, need to sit down together (excluding C) and discuss your intent, your plans and what it is that you want to accomplish.
I understand that C feels gained upon when she is approached, however this is business not pleasure and if she is that childish then you and your siblings must take the grown up approach. My suggestion is to meet with your sister with an older relative there who knows what is going on (they will act as the mediator and peace keeper). It isn't about words that are said, but the emotions involved with saying the words.
I am sorry to say this but yet it is true, your sister has no intent of selling, moving, or doing things according to law because she is benefitting from residing there rent free and with the way economy is,that confirms her intent.
1. Try the family meeting with the older relative's presence should that not work, I am encouraging you to contact an attorney so that you can discuss legal matters and how to resolve this legally. Since your sister is residing there, who is going to pay the taxes involved with the home? Who is going to maintain the insurance on the home? It could also be a matter of requiring a cease and desist. There are several factors that are going to come into play legally with this house. I am not sure if this helps but listen, it is now a matter of separating emotion from business.. it's a hard thing to do but when we fail to do this, we are the ones who get screwed over by someone with lack of emotion because if there was emotion on your sister's part, this issue would be of no factor or going on either.
It doesn't mean that you all don't love her, I am sure you do, however right is right and wrong is wrong. She is disrespecting you all in addition to your parents as this wasn't their intent. Please feel free to email me at Sophia_Pettus@yahoo.com at anytime.. I will always answer.
GOD bless and I am praying for the best interest of your family and the best resolution for peace yet fairness.
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