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My friend was raped.
She was sleeping in a bed at a hotel for a bday party with a girl. The girl's boyfriend came in and they had sex in the same bed she was in. My friend, Julia is small. The guy turned over and raped Julia. She said she was disgusted blah blah. and the next morning the girl (who is an absolute whore and has a baby now) said "How could you do that?" to Julia!
This was a few years ago and my boyfriend wants me to tell her to tell someone. I want her to too. Her mother thinks she's a whore already and Julia says "it was so long ago. It doesn't make sense to say anything now." I don't know what to tell her. If he's done this to her I'm sure he's done it to others or is going to. By the way, I know who they guy is. I have seen him before.
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While I agree with you that your friend should tell someone, you cannot make her do it. You could always tell someone for her since she is unwilling, but if you do that I suggest you prepare for her to be very upset with you.
Honestly, if she does decide to tell, there really isn't much that anyone can do. The evidence is more than likely gone so even though he did rape her, he could get away with it (even though he technically already has).
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If she WANTS to report this, she needs to act QUICKLY!!! There are statutes of limitations on rape and you can check to see what it is in your state.
If your friend doesn't want to tell anyone then that is her decision unless she was a minor when this occured. Really, though, this is her choice. Frustrating, I know.
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This is a tough one. Of course it makes sense for her to tell the authorities, but victims of rape often don't want to have to relive the experience by having to recount it to multiple strangers, perhaps ending up by having to testify in court while facing the man himself. Its understandable. She also may feel embarrassed and ashamed. Even though she didn't ask for it, it is often the case with victims. I think you should encourage her to go the authorities. At this point, there's probably not much they could do, any evidence being done away with long ago, but having a complaint on record against the guy could go a long way to convicting him in the future should he ever do something like that to someone else. If she chooses not to, see if she would be willing to talk to someone, a counsellor or a therapist. There are plenty of websites and hotlines for victims of rape to contact. Perhaps you could Google a few for her. She needs someone who knows what she's been through to help her deal with some of the consequences of this awful crime. In the meantime, keep being the supportive and caring friend you obviously are, be there for her, encourage her, and do your best to let her know you'll accept her no matter what her decision is. Best of luck to you and your friend.
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tell her that the guy who did this to her really needs to be brought to justice so she can have peace of mind and also so that he cant do this to anyone else. emphasize the 'anyone else' part because that could really help her realize that its a good idea.
if she doesnt want to tell and it really compells you, you COULD do this yourself but it might wreck your friendship. so be cautious.
and the baby part is totally irrelevant. some people could really take offense to that, like myself who is a teen and pregnant. just be careful with your words next time.
x sweeethoney
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