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Being Assertive
I am a naturally extremely passive person. I let people walk all over me and rarely stick up for myself. Having to say excuse me to someone even makes me nervous. I have no problem asserting myself to my friends. How can I be assertive? I don't really want to be aggressive either, which I can be towards my parents and a particular teacher. Furthermore, the thought of even asserting myself makes tears well up in my eyes a bit, so any advice on not bursting into tears when defending myself would be useful too!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Etiquette?
In order to be assertive, expose yourself or in other words, be yourself. That is the number 1 approach to everyday life. There is no other way to gain assertiveness than just being who you are.....
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NEW INFO: I've had mental health issues myself and have seen people with the problem you have over and over.
You may not think you need to see a professional but it's the only way to handle this crippling problem. It's worth doing because neither you or anyone else has handled it for you. It's a big problem if you're afraid of people this much. it's not normal.
Most people with this kind of issue don't think it's BIG enough to warrant professional intervention but It IS. You can't function correctly and they've got the answers you want. It will change your life. right now let's face it you're scared of your own shadow. Is that normal? Then let's at least see a professional ONCE and discover how they can heal this with you. Nothing to lose.
ORIGINAL:
When you were little you must have spoken up for yourself to have your voice heard only to be chastised by an adult.
The way they reacted must have been traumatic enough to make you afraid to be assertive ever again because you were too young to know different.
Your problem is psychological in nature and a mental block that you cannot get pasted easily. It would be to your benefit to see a psychologist or even psychiatrist (no shame in either) to find out what causes this in you and steps to overcome it.
The fact that being assertive or afraid to say "excuse me" to people is not normal behavior and signs of a problem that is affecting your mental well-being and has been far too long.
You need to see a professional to really deal with this and reach out to adults you trust for support. If you can't defend yourself in normal everyday situations without bursting into tears something's really wrong and they can diagnose it and tackle fears. You owe it to yourself to get helped.
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