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remember me?
hey so i'm that girl who asked you all those questions about getting back together with my boyfriend over the summer and going on vacation with him. (we started dating aug. 11.2008 broke up april 26th 2009 then started going back out july 20th 2009 and now broke up again november 27th 2008 :/)
okay so tonight he dumped me. again. i can't sleep, i can't eat, and theres this huge hole in my heart. i told myself i would never get this attached but its too late, because i am. it is impossible for me to get over him....three months wasn't enough i feel like its going to be longer this time if we don't end up getting back together.
he said he broke up with me because he feels like i contribute way more in the relationship than he does and he feels like its not fair to me. but then he said he loves me and cares about me and doesn't know what to expect after we break up....i said to him "i want to be sure this is what you want because i'm not coming back this time"....he said "yeah i know..id be a jerk to ask you out again" he said that ill always have an effect on him because its the first love kinda thing with both of us.
its really weird too because like a week ago he was telling me how the first time we broke up he was a mess and thought of me every night thinking that it would go away but it didn't for 3 months. so he asked me back out and things were good but then he said that he felt like he didn't want to hang out with me sometimes and wanted to be with his friends but thats understandable because i do too. ugh i know i said i wasn't coming back, but deep down i know i am if he will....im so crazy abot this guy....
and one more thing, everytime he says "i love you" like a couple months later we break up....i've mentioned this to him and he seems afraid of it...he says he meant it and i'm positive that he meant it becase i can tell especially the way he looked into my eyes but he says he doesn't want to be like an old married couple already and i think the words "Ilove you" remind him of that.
what do you think is the best way to play it so we can get back together? should i tell him all of this? he said he wanted to try the friends thing so we can hang out after a little awhile. but we hung out last time we broke up by ourselves and we ended up getting back together...he said he wanted to start hanging out in groups first though so that doesn't happen...but i secretly want it to :/ when should i call him/text him? like how long should i give it? i know i should wait until he texts me first but he told me to let him know when i'm ready to hang out again. this is seriously the hardest thing i've ever been through.
i want him back so badly. im trying the best i could to stay positive but things aren't going so well. i'm so in love and this is eating me from the inside out. i want him back. i know he loves me. he's just so confused and he has family problems going on at home (his mom is cheating on his dad overseas) and i want to be there for him i love him so much and i honestly think he's making a hugee mistake. how do i get him back? please help :(
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Hey there so sorry for the long wait I was busy with my christmas exams ugh.
Anyway Im also sorry to hear about you and your boyfriend :( break ups are the hardest thing ever I know.
Okay first thing Il say to you is you cant be living in the past things happen and people change and grow apart it sucks so much but its something that we have to learn to accept and live with sooner or later.
Ok so you guys broke up the first time and you asked was there a chance you could make another go and I said yes because from how you described things it did seem possible and hey it happend,but I hate to say it and I know its the last thing you want to hear but do you really want to put yourself through all that again not knowing if it will last? trying so hard to make things happen that are supposed to naturally? like you said and he said the spark is lost more often then not people never get that back but you should try look at it positively and think well at least I got it back for a while.
at the moment there are differences between you,he obviously has major commitment issues and thats the problem. He cant seem to make up his mind which in the long run isnt fair to you at all..you said to him is he sure because your not coming back..you have to stick to that.
I know how hard it is trust me ive been in a position where i kept going back too.
you dont want to give off the impression to him that he can have you break up with you then have you again so you HAVE to stick to it.
so basicly what I really think in all of this is that its time to live,and let go. I know exactly how you feel in all what you said some days it nearly kills inside and all you wanna do is curl up in a ball and cry and think about the good things. but what good is that realisticly? its stopping you from living and having a good time,enjoying life.
youve gone through alot with this guy and for the momment I would strongly advice you to stick to your guns stay strong and keep trying every day to move on,I know it doesnt feel like it right now but each day gets easier and the pain eventually does pass just keep yourself busy and distracted.
If youve tried twice already and he still has trouble commiting after he says I love you how can you be sure he will ever be ready? your just setting yourself up for an even bigger fall the next time think about it.
Dont waste all your engery in a relationship thats not giving the same amount back its not worth it no matter how much you love him right now.
Again there is the other issue of a test and I dont mean to sound judgemental at all here but a solid relationship shouldnt have to withstand tests and your bf shouldnt put you through that,and as far talking to the guy friend they are like us girls believe it or not they will tell everything lol.
so in my opinion its a bad idea.
I really think its time to do your absolute best to get over him no matter how hard you think it is its always do able millions of us girls have had to the same and weve come out the other side ten times stronger :)
hopefully in time youl be able to see him as just a friend,or even maybe when he matures a bit and sorts out his problems and commitment issues you might be together in the future but as for right now id say concentrate on you your friends and fun.
I really wish you the best of luck in this and of course its up to you in whatever you decide to do! this is just from my point of veiw. but please do consider it.
Much <3
Jess 16/f
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