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our future together=foggy :(
i've been head over heels in love with the same guy for about a year and a half. we've broken up a few times, but got back together usually within a few weeks or a month. well this go round, we're trying not to get too serious. like, we don't even call eachother "boyfriend/girlfriend" and because we don't do that, we're not fighting as much because there's no pressure tag hanging over our heads.
a few times a while back, we'd talk about the future; kids, marriage, moving in together, etc. and i thought he and i were on the same page about all that. well, now we're together but not as serious? and i asked him the other day if he ever plans to get married, but not to me, just anybody. and he said he didnt know. that actually semi-shocked me. so now i'm thinking we're no longer on the same page about our futures. like i knew we wouldnt be agreeing on every little thing, for instance, i wanna stay put, he wants to travel. he wants to go to college, and i wanna be done with school after 12th grade. i want kids early in life, he wants time to party and THEN have kids.
my plan is the stereotypical family plan, i wanna get married and have no more than two kids. and i want my boyfriend to be my husband and the father of my kids. but from what he's been implying, i dont think thats gonna happen. i want to talk to him about it in depth, but i don't want to make him feel cornered. and i know this is kind of a stupid topic to bring up to him, but i hate feeling like i'm working so hard for something just to find out that my time has been so terribly wasted. so i want to find out about this from him NOW, not later in the future. because if he doesnt want what i want, then i want to end this relationship before i get too badly attached, (i did get very attached to him at one point and became very depressed when he dumped me, obviously, don't want that to happen again,)
anyone with any sort of advice, please let me know. by the way, i wouldn't care if it was what i wanna hear, or if you wanna tell me that i'm an obsessive compulsive bitch, go right ahead. i just need advice. thanks, and sorry this is so long.
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Im guessing your nearly 18 or around 18? Well, this is what I want to know. How do you know EXACTLY what is going to happen in the future.? These are your plans and what you would like. You have no idea of any barriers that could be getting in way of your plans. You could have a unplanned baby. He might change his mind about college or travelling. Your boyfriend may be at that point where he doesnt quite know exactly what he wants in the near future. you might change your mind about alot of things. Having kids and a husband seems like a committment your willing to have. I wouldnt dump him. It seems like you have been through very harsh times and I understand that. To be honest. You need to sit down again and talk to him about it because it seems like there is alot you havnt told him.. I could be wrong.. but its just an opinion. Finish school first. Then see what happens in the long run. I suggest you dont let alot of things interupt your school life as education is very important. Carry on the realtionship if you think it is going to work. Ive said what I think.. so now its down to you!
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honestly if I were you I would break up, if your not on the same page its not gonna go anywhere because you'll be argueing about everything than.. its always hard losing your love but its even harder staying with someone who doesn't want the same things as you do...hope that helps take care
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