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What attitude should I take towards my breakup?
My boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. We decided to stay best friends because we both care about eachother very much. The problem is that I find myself still loving him and he on the other hand still likes me a tiny bit, but does not want a relationship with me because he was unhappy with it. I was a total wreck at first, but I've come a long way. I am still nowhere near over him though...Well, he likes another girl and I know that they've been having a thing with eachother, but now it turns out that she likes someone else more than she likes him. So, he's now getting heartbroken.. :/ Naturally, as his best friend I am helping him feel better about her. But it just pains me that he's sulking over HER. I realize that at some point he may have been sulking over me instead....I know that we are over. I know that we can not happen again because he doesn't feel that I am the "one". But there is always that hope that maybe...someday...just maybe. I want to stop that hope and these feelings. I know I can't just change the way I feel but I would really appreciate some help in trying to make these feelings stop persisting. :/ Thanks.
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I think you both need a break from each other, just for a while so you have to to breathe.
You agreed on being bestfriends straight out of your realtionship breaking up.
Bad idea.
because either one or the other still has alot of feelings for the other person.
Naturally, after a break up, you would have a break from each other so both people have a chance to chill and have a bit of relaxtion time and hanging out with friends to keep your mind off of it.
Then the feelings will start to fade the less you talk and see him.
I know it sounds REALLY weird and REALLY sad saying that you should talk to him less and see him less but its just a break. Even if its just for a week or so.
Then after your break.
You should then just be friends.
Im not saying forget all your good memories.
&&
Im not saying dont talk to him at all or be friends with him at all because that would be silly.
Just a break would be good and healthy, then you can rebuild your friendship :)
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You aren't his bestfriend, as much as you might like to be, as much as you care for him, you aren't his best friend, you ARE his ex girlfriend.
Respect that, for your own sake and for his. Respect yourself and him by saying 'Whoa, dude, I care for you, but I'm dealing with my own shit right now, and I can't handle your issues with this other girl. If we need to see less of eachother for a while so we can both handle these things without hurting the other, so be it."
You can't magically turn your feelings off, and neither can he. The best thing you can both do at this point is set some bounderies so you aren't abusing one another.
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