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break ups and make ups
18/f
I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago. I don't regret it, I needed a little break. He didn't understand the concept of a break. He didn't get how that if I loved him how I could break up with him. Anyway it was a big mess for a few weeks and he said he never wanted to talk to me again. But then late at night (around 2am) he started texting me. First it was once a week, then twice, then almost everyday. Wouldn't really talk about much, just filling each other in on our lives. Well now he has a new "girlfriend" but his friends, sister and mother all agree that its just a rebound to get laid, she is also using him as a rebound. So its not like the relationship is going anywhere. I'll be seeing him when I come home from school over thanksgiving break, I'm going to pick up my stuff from his house. While I'm there I want to tell him that I want him back. Not immediately though..he has to change a little. Since we broke up he started smoking pot again so that he's stoned 24/7 and he's in this depressed unmotivated all time low since the break up. You're probably thinking 'why the heck would she want to get back with him?' Well he wasn't like this when we were together and he wasn't like this before we met. All his friends say that I'm the only ex he's kept in contact with. I truly think that he would stop smoking for me, no doubt it'll take time but he's done it before.
I don't want to wait to have this conversation but I would prefer to have it in person but I won't see him for another 2 weeks. And I'm at college 4 hours away.
I basically need a little coaching through this. I've never wanted to get back with an ex. But this one's really special, deep down in there and I'm willing to fight for it. We had a really good relationship for 8 months up until the last week or so and thats only because I was getting stressed from school/work and it was affecting our relationship.
So how do I bring up that conversation? Should I call or text him now and tell him that I want to talk?
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Honestly I think this kind of talk needs to be done face to face so I would keep it to yourself for the next two weeks til you are home. Then call him when you get home and say hey let's meet up we have to talk. Then tell him everything face to face and see what he says...tell him how you feel and what exactly you and him need to do to make this relationship work out and to try it again. Don't text him or call him...I know the wait is long but it will be worth it!
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Okay let me lay out the facts
1. You originally broke up with him
2. He has moved on from the relationship
3. You live 4 hours away
4. He gets high often
This relationship doesn't sound like it has any success, You broke up with him if you wanted a break you should of said "I'm feeling the need to have a few days to myself but when I'm ready I will call you maybe we can do something together. I just need a little time to relax to myself" Sometimes breaking up and actually taking a break from the relationship are two different things. Moving on...Now he has a new girlfriend and the truth is despite what you've heard from others it is this simple "He has a new girlfriend". Whether it is serious or not he has moved on from the relationship. Now for his drug problem...You can't stop someone from a bad habit there is an old saying "You can't help someone who won't help themselves" if you two were ever to get back together it doesn't mean he will side his habit with being with you. People who do weed tend to have no or little motivation never mind often depression. On the other hand, If he is with someone new than it really isn't your place to try and get him back because what it all comes down too is you broke up with him. You can try to explain your case but remember be prepared to take the worst.
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To bring up that conversation, you should expect the best, but be prepared for the worst, you know what i mean..? 19/m.. I've been with a girl for 7 months and i felt the same way. me and her are no longer together, and probably won't be.. my approach to that conversation was that i just brought it straight up... she wasn't around the area when i finally decided to tell her how i truly felt.. so i called her.. tell him that you want to talk about things and how it used to be.. express your true feelings during the conversation.. the best relationships are built over arguements and alot of disagreements.. but without them, would loving an other person be really worth it..? and in that convo, tell him the truth.. that school and work was really stressing you out... thats the advice i can give for now..
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