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bipolar disorder
I'm a 17 year old female in High School. I think I have bipolar disorder and I don't know what to do. I have a 4.0 GPA, I had a really caring boyfriend, and I'm (this sounds cocky) pretty popular. But, I'm not happy.
I dumped my boyfriend of almost 3 years last week because I thought it would let him be happier. The reason I did this was because I was always moody to him. I love him so much and he loves me, but I felt like our relationship was falling apart. I got sick of him too easily and fought with him alot. Sometimes we would go to a party, and we wouldn't even talk- for no reason. Two days after I broke up with him, I turned to alcohol to deal with my saddness. I ended up at his house(during a party) and physically fought my friends and him. Now, my friends hate me. I used to be so confident in myself and really happy. But now, I am spiraling into a depression that I cant find my way out of. I haven't gone to school in days, I stopped applying to colleges, I stopped singing around the house like I used to, and I stopped talking to my friends. My boyfriend said that he "doesn't know me anymore" and that "I'm not the same girl he dated for 2 and a half years." I don't know how to get her back. She's completely gone.
I am depressed and I think it's because I have bipolar disorder (I have two completely different sides). I want to be with my boyfriend again, but I'm so scared that I will screw up the same way again. I feel so alone.
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I'm sorry to hear all the stress you're going through. That must be devastating :( Its normal to suddenly let go of our responsibilities or priorities as soon as feel this way, but don't!! what's happened is you feel as though you've lost your self worth, that you obtained from your ex, or friends. But you need to go to school and do YOUR work, for you, and apply for colleges, for YOU, and sing, for you!! I've done the same thing. Do what makes you happy, as hard as that sounds; and everything will fall into place eventually. I would simply apologize to your friends and ex and say something like 'i haven't been the same for i haven't felt the same. I've been pretty stressed lately, i'm sorry.' Don't push anything too much with your ex or friends, though; they will come around. I'm not too sure about the bi polar disorder, unless you have had manic episodes; its not something that goes unnoticed. It does sound like you've been feeling depressed. You can easily go to a therapist and they can further assist you, maybe even refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe medicine to deal with daily activities like going to school, or filling out work, etc. Please please please, though don't abuse alcohol as a way to deal! There are so many better ways to cope than drinking. If you can, stop now, if not, seek help. You don't want to drink to deal with everyday stresses. It sounds like you have a lot of anger inside, that's what led to the fighting to. Find out what exactly is underlying all this anger held inside you. I understand your feelings of being alone, TRUST ME, but it's only temporary..everything will work out.
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You may be mildly bipolar, but it doesnt sound like you are truly bipolar, just depressed. (depression can last for a while or a short time) If your really concerned about it, go to a doctor and they could get you help. i believe there are treatments to help control your moods.
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