hello! my name is olivia and i decided to make an advice column, for i live for helping people; analyzing the problem and situations and hoping to be of help to the person! I find people coming to me all the time for advice, so feel free to ask me anything, i don't judge! & i'll do my best. :)
Gender: Female
Location: new jersey
Age: 18
Member Since: November 9, 2009
Answers: 6
Last Update: February 20, 2010
Visitors: 2511
Main Categories:
Mental health
Spirituality
Families
View All
|
| |
15/f
So I really don't know whats wrong with me. I've been cutting since I was in 8th grade. So about 3 years. My parents found out last summer and I got in so much trouble and I got everything taken from me and couldn't go anywhere for the whole summer. During the school year my friend got me to talk to a counselor. When they called my parents I got in trouble again but they didn't want to get me help or whatever because they didn't want anyone to convince me that I'm crazy.
But that's not what I'm asking about. Just stating that to know that I have talked to people.
My friend had the same problem but she got help and was diagnosed with depression. She said I'm probably the same. But I'm not totally sure of that. I mean I get really upset easily but I'm not always down.
But the thing that's been killing me is my mood swings. I mean seriously, I'm happy one minute and then a little bit later I'm crying. For no reason. When I'm upset I get mad, really mad. My friends always have to watch how and when to talk to me.
But I just don't know if that's supposed to be normal. I mean maybe its hormones but its been happening for about 2 years. I pretty much blew that off cause maybe its just how its supposed to be? I have no idea but lately its been driving me crazy.
So what do you think? (link)
| |
it does sound like there is something going on.. i don't know if i would say it is bipolar, because its usually VERY visible when someone does. It sounds like yours is change in mood swings from moment to moment, which is not bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is when you feel VERY VERY excited and happy one week and very angry and impulsive another week. If thats the case, seek help girl! Not only that, but you're NOT crazy, you're completely normal :) cutting is just a coping mechanism that releases anger, sadness, what have you. I know many people whom have cut themselves but its not the right way to release your anger! if you look on my advice column, there are actually several posts relating to cutting. So you're not alone! It does sound like depression to me, though.. or the temporary 'blues' feeling fine one moment and sad another. that IS hormones. and its disappointing you're parents aren't giving the support you need. Thats why YOU have to make the initiative to get help. TELL your parents you need that help, you've realized you need help, which is a BIG step, and all you need is their approval for you to get help. Its great you want help, because a lot of times people are completely in denial about the ways they are acting. Because its been happening so long, i would advice it :) i've been in the same position, and felt much better after finding a different release and one's support. As far as you're friends, i believe if they are really you're friends, they should understand why you are acting the way you do. In fact, they may even want to help you if your ask for it as well. Hope everything works out! feel good!!! :)
|
ok there is a type of physical girls take. i dont remember what its called. when the doctor check in there vagina and all that.. well my question is...
what all do they do can you please explain in deep details. ive never had it done before. im 17 female. and im a virgin so im scared to get it done but if someone can tell me what to expect. thankyou (link)
| |
gynocologist. It's really nothing to be afraid of. Some girls feel strange for their first time going, but its a 6 month procedure thats worth it. Better to be safe than sorry. You usually start going when you're 1) having sex or 2) have had your period regularly for two years. Typically at the gyno, they make sure everythings ok down there :) you can expect to get a pelvic exam and a pap test. The pelvic exam is to check for yeast infections, vaginal infections, bacterial vaginosis, stds, any pelvic organ abnormalities, etc etc. The pap test is also for that, and to check for cervical cancer. They're really important tests to do, because who knows what can go wrong down there. For the tests, you have your legs open, they insert a speculum into the vag to widen it a bit (doesnt hurt) a small sample is taken to check for anything, and after he feels up in the vagina to make sure everything is normal. I would go; its not too bad :)
|
I'm 17/f and can't take my life anymore. There are certain things that have happened to me that are not the end of the world. I don't want to explain these things in full detail but I'll tell you one: I got a fairly good score on one of my ap exams and an absolutely horrible score on another.
The one that I got the horrible score for was the class that I worked the hardest for the entire year. There are certain things that just absolutely haunt me. Not to be dramatic, but they don't just bother me or annoy me, they haunt me. You would think something like exam grades that colleges don't really even care about wouldn't be the end of the world, but for some reason, when I would think about my potential score on the ap and when I think about it now, a huge wave of anxiety just like, paralyzes me. And I really don't know why.
Sometimes I'll think, oh it's not the end of the world and other times my mind will just freeze in anxiety and being preoccupied. There are a few other things in my life besides ap that do this to me.
There's no rhyme or reason for it. I can't help these feelings. I know in my heart that it doesn't matter that much but I still have these reactions when I think about upsetting or stressful things. It's like being scared while watching a horror movie when I think about these things. And it's useless to try and not think about them at all. What scares me too is that I can't help feeling like this. Nothing but a magic cure will take the feelings away. I know I sound really overdramatic now but this is really how I'm feeling now. Please please please please help!
Thank you (link)
|
I understand you're feelings. You get utterly overwhelmed about something, but know at heart it doesn't matter all that much, yet you still want to do well. Because of the way you're describing it, it sounds like anxiety. Perhaps seek out a doctor who can help you get meds for that. But for coping it with it now, just know it really doesn't matter too much. It really is not the end of the world. I get anxious too when it comes to stuff like that, i've felt the same way. Be proud you did well on the other exam! Why do we get these feelings of anxiety? Perhaps we feel we need to justify our good to others, we need to prove ourselves. I know i would always strive to get good grades because i felt like i NEEDED to do well, and it drove me crazy. We feel as though we need to do well, because if not we won't get into that great college and succeed. I know its hard to believe now but in the long run, it doesn't matter what college you go to; what matters is your work ethic, and it sounds like you have that. One ap exam doesn't matter too much; i promise. It won't determine your future! Just do your best; believe it or not the less you stress out about it, the better you will do; for feelings of anxiety lead you to panic, and fail. I've made the same mistake. I don't know what else is going on that makes you feel this way too, but, take it easy and do your best without stressing yourself out too much! there's no reason for it :)
|
I'm a 17 year old female in High School. I think I have bipolar disorder and I don't know what to do. I have a 4.0 GPA, I had a really caring boyfriend, and I'm (this sounds cocky) pretty popular. But, I'm not happy.
I dumped my boyfriend of almost 3 years last week because I thought it would let him be happier. The reason I did this was because I was always moody to him. I love him so much and he loves me, but I felt like our relationship was falling apart. I got sick of him too easily and fought with him alot. Sometimes we would go to a party, and we wouldn't even talk- for no reason. Two days after I broke up with him, I turned to alcohol to deal with my saddness. I ended up at his house(during a party) and physically fought my friends and him. Now, my friends hate me. I used to be so confident in myself and really happy. But now, I am spiraling into a depression that I cant find my way out of. I haven't gone to school in days, I stopped applying to colleges, I stopped singing around the house like I used to, and I stopped talking to my friends. My boyfriend said that he "doesn't know me anymore" and that "I'm not the same girl he dated for 2 and a half years." I don't know how to get her back. She's completely gone.
I am depressed and I think it's because I have bipolar disorder (I have two completely different sides). I want to be with my boyfriend again, but I'm so scared that I will screw up the same way again. I feel so alone. (link)
| |
I'm sorry to hear all the stress you're going through. That must be devastating :( Its normal to suddenly let go of our responsibilities or priorities as soon as feel this way, but don't!! what's happened is you feel as though you've lost your self worth, that you obtained from your ex, or friends. But you need to go to school and do YOUR work, for you, and apply for colleges, for YOU, and sing, for you!! I've done the same thing. Do what makes you happy, as hard as that sounds; and everything will fall into place eventually. I would simply apologize to your friends and ex and say something like 'i haven't been the same for i haven't felt the same. I've been pretty stressed lately, i'm sorry.' Don't push anything too much with your ex or friends, though; they will come around. I'm not too sure about the bi polar disorder, unless you have had manic episodes; its not something that goes unnoticed. It does sound like you've been feeling depressed. You can easily go to a therapist and they can further assist you, maybe even refer you to a psychiatrist to prescribe medicine to deal with daily activities like going to school, or filling out work, etc. Please please please, though don't abuse alcohol as a way to deal! There are so many better ways to cope than drinking. If you can, stop now, if not, seek help. You don't want to drink to deal with everyday stresses. It sounds like you have a lot of anger inside, that's what led to the fighting to. Find out what exactly is underlying all this anger held inside you. I understand your feelings of being alone, TRUST ME, but it's only temporary..everything will work out.
|
|
I have been cutting myself alot lately, so much that I can't do it on my arms anymore because of all of the scar tissue. I really like to do it because it releases pressure on my body but other people think I'm really crazy. I don't do it deep enough to seriously hurt myself but lately I have been thinking about just ending it. I don't what to do. (link)
| |
People sometimes assume you're crazy or wacky for doing so, but what they don't understand is that sometimes it does make one feel better. I've done this before too, but it IS the WRONG approach to feeling better. I would end it. You're obviously feeling extreme sadness, that's what begun the cutting. Perhaps feelings of guilt, or frustration, thats why we lead to hurting ourselves. But there are better coping mechanisms! or atleast better ways to release an anger inside us. You can do art, or run (i always used to run immediately when i thought of hurting myself; it takes a lot of willpower but works for me, all the anger rushes out), write your thoughts and feelings down, or if you really feel like you need to, cut up an old pillow or blanket. Better that than yourself! Don't hurt yourself, you don't ever deserve that; as much as you might feel like you do. And if you feel you can't stop, please ask for help. Someone will always be there for you.
|
i\'m living a typical un-accomplished life. im a guy, 22, fit and goodlookin, got a gf and a car, college drop-out, ill be fine though cuz im studyin another course soon.... but im neurotic.
how do i deal with it? whats the best modern way to face this ? its genetic im sure, my brother has it so does my dad. and im pretty sure this is what killed my dads relationship with his women. (also its funny to note that my bro, dad, and me cant be in one room together go figure)
i have my gf, i love her, she\'s spoiled with me and she loves me but because of that i do not want to stress her out just cuz i\'m stressed out. and oh my guy friends can go eat poop, no help there. it\'s my own self who needs self control.
i hate how this is gonna get in the way of my life.
i need advice from those who have dealed with this before. that , or can someone just tell me to man-it-up please, anything will surely help. (link)
| |
first off, i'm sorry to hear that. but i feel you. you don't need to man it up, its really not your fault if its genetic. i can relate, for i have anxiety and compulsive behavior. Usually when people are neurotic, there is something underlying it; say emotional stress. are there a lot of stressors in your life now? take time to reflect and perhaps fix these stresses for that may help the neurotic behavior. Or, if you find your neurotic self severely interfering with your daily life, thats a problem. You can go to a psychiatrist where there they can evaluate you, and possibly get medicine. What are some of the things you consider neurotic behavior? You can tell me more so i can further help you out. As far as your girlfriend, tell her its nothing to worry about and as long as you don't change around her, you are just working on yourself is all. Hope it all works out
|
|