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What's Wrong With Me?
I'm 17/f and can't take my life anymore. There are certain things that have happened to me that are not the end of the world. I don't want to explain these things in full detail but I'll tell you one: I got a fairly good score on one of my ap exams and an absolutely horrible score on another.
The one that I got the horrible score for was the class that I worked the hardest for the entire year. There are certain things that just absolutely haunt me. Not to be dramatic, but they don't just bother me or annoy me, they haunt me. You would think something like exam grades that colleges don't really even care about wouldn't be the end of the world, but for some reason, when I would think about my potential score on the ap and when I think about it now, a huge wave of anxiety just like, paralyzes me. And I really don't know why.
Sometimes I'll think, oh it's not the end of the world and other times my mind will just freeze in anxiety and being preoccupied. There are a few other things in my life besides ap that do this to me.
There's no rhyme or reason for it. I can't help these feelings. I know in my heart that it doesn't matter that much but I still have these reactions when I think about upsetting or stressful things. It's like being scared while watching a horror movie when I think about these things. And it's useless to try and not think about them at all. What scares me too is that I can't help feeling like this. Nothing but a magic cure will take the feelings away. I know I sound really overdramatic now but this is really how I'm feeling now. Please please please please help!
Thank you
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I understand you're feelings. You get utterly overwhelmed about something, but know at heart it doesn't matter all that much, yet you still want to do well. Because of the way you're describing it, it sounds like anxiety. Perhaps seek out a doctor who can help you get meds for that. But for coping it with it now, just know it really doesn't matter too much. It really is not the end of the world. I get anxious too when it comes to stuff like that, i've felt the same way. Be proud you did well on the other exam! Why do we get these feelings of anxiety? Perhaps we feel we need to justify our good to others, we need to prove ourselves. I know i would always strive to get good grades because i felt like i NEEDED to do well, and it drove me crazy. We feel as though we need to do well, because if not we won't get into that great college and succeed. I know its hard to believe now but in the long run, it doesn't matter what college you go to; what matters is your work ethic, and it sounds like you have that. One ap exam doesn't matter too much; i promise. It won't determine your future! Just do your best; believe it or not the less you stress out about it, the better you will do; for feelings of anxiety lead you to panic, and fail. I've made the same mistake. I don't know what else is going on that makes you feel this way too, but, take it easy and do your best without stressing yourself out too much! there's no reason for it :)
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I can not say what the problem is but I will tell what I think you do about it. I believe that you need to speak with someone that you can absolutely trust about your feelings and everything else that is bothering you. Your parents or a guidance counselor at school.I think it really needs to be an adult and not one of your peers, even if you feel you trust your best friend more than anyone else. Never dismiss anything you feel, no matter what others may think. There could actually be a problem that you may need professional help with. Please speak with your parents and/or guidance counselor as soon as posssible.
Good luck, I hope I was able to help:)
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