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commuter, no friends.
I go to college about 20 minutes from where I live, so I figured, what's the point in paying the extra whatever thousands of dollars if I could just hop on a bus and ride down there for 2 bucks? It just seemed the easiest and cheapest thing to do.
Well I had no problem meeting people right off the bat, I met alot of peope in all of my classes that I can talk to and it made me really happy cause I was worried it was going to be really difficult. Well now it's been about a month and the whole big group of us that talks is starting to go out to places with eachother and hang out and everything.. and I never get invited. I get the occasional invites sometimes, but it's always when I have to work, so I sadly decline, but it still makes me happy though that they'd ask. But sometimes they haven't been inviting me and then they'll tell me about what they all did and then sometimes they'll be like "you should've come!" and I just want to grab them and shake them and be like "I WOULD'VE IF YOU HAD INVITED ME." Cause ironically, the days I DON'T work and CAN go out are usually the days where they don't invite me anywhere or anything. Like yesterday, I didn't have to work at all, so I could've hung out with everyone and we were sitting there in class and this one girl mentioned going to a resturant and pointed to each person and was like,"___ you wanna go? ___, you wanna go?" and didn't point to me. After class, I left in a hurry and didn't wait for everyone like I normally would because I was a little upset. Nobody texted me or anything asking where I went ( not that I really expected them too, but it was a litte out of character for me not to wait, unless I explain to them that I'm in a hurry to catch my bus or something ).
Like, I know I commmute and don't have the closest friendship they all have because they all live in the same building together or one that's like, 5 minutes away. But one of the other girls commutes to and they always ask her to hang out all the time. I don't think it's me not being social enough cause I think I'm pretty outgoing, I've even tried making plans with everyone this saturday, and juts nobody's even mentioned it and I suggested something for Monday but nobody said anything about that either.
It's just bumming me out cause I feel like I'm just someone there to talk to for whenever they have nobody else in class or anything. Like I had class with one of the girls I talk to and we were able to get out of class early and she was just kind of like,"...you can come back to my apartment and hang.. if you want.." it seemed more of a like "oh i know you don't have anywhere else to go for an hour so i'll let you sit at my place." then a like "wanna hang out at my place! :)" kind of deal.
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I think it is that every time they have invited you you have declined maybe they think you didn't want to go. next time you have a day off ask someone so what are you all doing after class.
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This is the magic phrase you need to learn.
"Hey 'Insert name of person who sometimes invites you', I'm not working on Tuesday? Has anyone got any plans ‘cause I’d like to go out?"
Now that groups are starting to form, don't be a leader, be a follower. Find a person who the group has deemed a leader, and let them know you're free.
It's not their fault they can't read your mind and magically know your schedule ;)
If you are otherwise positive and well-liked then you are just having bad luck is all, and people are making assumptions about your availability. The only solution is to let the right people know when you are free.
Oh, and next time someone offers something, even if you think it’s sort of pity, take them up on it. You never know. Twenty minutes later they might decide they really like hanging out with you, or you might hear about other things going on later.
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