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Gay
k so i am gay and i dont konw how to tell my dad and i loke this guy at school and i dont know what to do will you plz help!
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I have to say, I find Peeps answer half-hearted and slightly ridiculous. Is he trying to un-gay you? Recommended you talk to a Christian counsellour so that you can have a WIFE AND SEVEN BABIES?
I think not.
I'm sure that you have put a lot of thought into this decision becasue despite what some might think, homophobia is still very present in society. I agree with Peeps about being prepared to lose the trust of some of your friends. They may feel lied to, when really you have only been figuring out who you are. I completely support your idea of coming out, but do make sure that you know this is true. Are you attracted to girls as well? You could be bi, or you could say screw the labels I'll fall in love with whoever the hell I want, thank you very much, which is what I did. I'm a girl and technically I'm bisexual, coming out was very easy for me and almost everyone saw it coming. Have you been trying really hard to hide your homosexuality?
I recommend you casually start talking to your dad about his ideas on same sex marriage and homosexuality. Perhaps mention a friend you have, man or woman, who you know is gay and listen to what he says. This will give you an idea of how to start talking to him about it. You can't change his mind, but you can have a free and open mind and it will likely influence him.
Good luck, sweetie!
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First and foremost, you absolutely must be 100% certain that this is the lifestyle you choose to lead for the rest of your entire life. Once you decide to "come out" to friends and family there isn't really much of deciding differently later. You can end up ruining the rest of your life if you're even slightly uncertain. "Coming out" creates a loss of trust in many close friends and relatives so changing your mind later down the road may end up breaking the last bit of trust they had for you off. All I am saying that it is EXTREMELY important that you know what your decision is long before you tell others.
Next, sit down with your father and begin the conversation. Let him know ahead of time that you have something you'd like to talk with him about and that you need his undivided attention when he is available. Then, wait until he's free of all distractions. Talk to him like you would any other serious thing and tell him about the thoughts that have been going through your mind.
Listen to what he has to say and do not get upset, even if he does. Stay calm and rational about the entire thing. Tell him that you felt you should tell him because you are interested in someone at school and you did not want it to be awkward with him. Ask for his thoughts and opinions on the matter. Take into consideration everything he says.
Please know that you may not be a homosexual after all. Many young people feel they fall into this category when it proves to be false. Enjoying the way the same gender appears does not make you a homosexual. It is actually very natural to find the same gender's body attractive and not want to engage in sexual relations with them. Magazines are a great way to see this explained visually. Men with bulging muscles are appealing to women AND men. Women want to be with that sort of man while men would like to look like that sort of man. There isn't anything strange about that sort of attraction to another human being's body.
Expect to lose friends and family. Some of your same gendered friends may pull away when they realize you have attraction to people like them. It's natural and should be very understood by you. If they're not comfortable being your friend then you're better off to not be friends with them. If you guilt them into a friendship it will be completely false, as they would feel the need to lie to you about their comfort factor while with you.
The media has recently pushed homosexuality onto the younger generations. If you are younger, I would definately give it another year or two before making a decision. Guys will come and go and it's highly doubtful that the one you have a crush on at the moment will turn out to be "the one" for you.
Homosexuality has been glamorized though and you should need to be open to the fact that nothing is wrong with being straight. Becoming a homosexual will not make you any more liked or disliked as a human being. You aren't going to be rich and famous. People aren't suddenly going to want to flock around you to see how queer you suddenly became. I know that may sound a little silly to think right now but the media has put many of these ideas in our heads that we are not mentally aware of right off.
If you find that you do have sexual feelings for the same gender then know that you do not have to engage in activities that promote those feelings. There are many counselors, mainly Christian based, that are willing to help you talk through your desires and work out these feelings so that you can lead a happy life with a woman down the road, possibly even having children.
If you have any more questions please feel free to ask me directly! :)
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