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Love or Lust?
Been in this relationship for 8 months now, we've had our break ups and a few though times. We've also had sex...blah, anyways sometimes when we do "it," I tend to get a bit strange after, I feel a bit sad and I don't know why. Is this normal? We live in different suburbs but in the same state, he visits as often as he cans, as do I. We speak on the phone every night. Hmmm...I've also had a small crush on this other guy, a friend of mine, had it for awhile now, before my actual bf and I got together. =S
I thought it'd go away since I have someone else, but it never really did, is this ok? Is it normal?
My crush likes me too, but nothing ever happened since we both are very shy. My bf on the other hand, is pretty head strong. My bestfriend says we aren't in love, since I have a crush on someone. She thinks that you can't like someone and also be in love with someone else...is she right? She also thinks we're more in lost than in love, I'd agree at times. But when I think things over and all we've been through I do believe it's love, right? Why would you stick around in something unless it was love. We tend to get very hot & heavy and end up...y'know. Does that mean it's lust instead of love? We do other things other than that of course, but I really like sex. I enjoy it...is this wrong? T.T
I mean only with him of course, he was my first and is the only guy I've ever been with, I don't see myself sexually with anyone else, not even my crush. But i could picture a noe sexual relationship with my crush, hmmm...I guess I'm just wondering all this because of this other guy, my friend. I'm feeling a little confused and stressed, I also have a few other things on my mind, none related to this. Sorry if it's long and if there are any typeo's but I'm to lazy to revise.
Additional info, I'm 16 female, my bf is 18 male, my friend/crush is 14 male >.>;
WEIRD AGE MIX UPS!!! I know xD
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a relationship can be absolute love and still have sex in it. most anyone who has had sex likes sex. thats normal. and its normal to kind of fantasize about other guys when you're in a committed relationship. especially if you guys dont see eachother that often. but as long as you dont act on those fantasies, theres nothing wrong with it.
and crushes that happen before you get into a relationship with another person that dont go away is normal, too. you sound like a pretty normal 16 year old girl, to me. i loooove sex, and i loooove my boyfriend, but i also have a crush or two on the side. but ive never done anything with them, nor will i. adults in movies can be in love and still want to have sex 80,000,000 times a day. lust is actually part of a relationship. having lust for someone means you have a sexual communication, and sexual communication is a very good thing in a committed relationship.
the feeling sad after sex is probably subconcious thoughts, such as: "ugh, hes leaving later. i dont want him to go" "i feel guilty for having another crush" "am i really in love with this guy?" just try to clear you're head of all that other BS and live in the moment. and have fun!
take care/ :)
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you have to ask your heart what it wants. it sounds as though your in love with the idea ofd love with your current bf. your crush is still at a very fickle age. heck im older then all of you and im still at a very fickle age. the heart wants what it wants and if you want someone other then your bf then your not being honest with him. you need to be honest with both yourself and your bf
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