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i wanna stay friends but it doesnt help me get over him
i really like this guy & we where really good friends. i always thought he liked me back but it turns out he still had feelings for his ex.
the thing is that im kind of angry at him cause he always flirted with me like he took my hand or we cuddled in his bed etc. & why would he do that if he doesnt have at least slight feelings for me? and even AFTER he told me he still likes his ex he continued.
& now im not really talking to him anymore cause it hurts me. i like him sooo much and i just have to look at him & it feels like a box of butterflies in my stomach exploded haha (:
i really wanna be friends with him again but im not sure that i can without liking him so much. but i have no chance with him :/ i dont know what to do :[
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Its unfortunate that he doesn't have the same feelings...I've been there and you're just hurt about it. Well I would say take sometime to yourself and do what you need to do for you. If that means creating space so you have time to think then so be it. Maybe after awhile you can start being friends again but I think just a little time away from him wouldn't hurt.
Good luck!
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I know you are angry at this guy, but look at it from a different perspective: he was going through a heart break. He still had feelings for his ex, who didn't have feelings for him. He felt worthless, useless, and ugly--just the same way anyone feels when the person they like doesn't like them. He thought you were a friend. He thought you understood where he was coming from, and you were offering your friendship just for what it was-friendship. Now he finds out that you had ulterior motives, and to top it off, you're mad at him. How would you feel if you were really good friends with a guy, you confided everything to him, and felt so comfortable that you could actually just be yourself, snuggle, and get the affection you really needed. When you had a problem, he was the one you called. Then, all of a sudden, he tells you he has feelings for you and he won't be your friend if you don't return those feelings. Then, he blames you for leading him on, so now you actually feel bad for offering your affection; a gift that you thought was so personal. You might be more cafeful about affection the next time, or not open up so quickly because you don't want to lead the other person on. Now, everytime that guy thinks about all of the intimate moments the two of you shared, he will think about them negatively, instead of fondly.
When you really think about it-what did he do so wrong? Be your friend? It doesn't sound like he led you on in any other way than just showing you affection. You don't say that he told you he liked you in that way, or promised something he wasn't willing to deliver. It sounds like you led yourself on and now you're mad at him for it.
I can totally understand that you wish there was something more there, but really, you're just trying to rush things. You really had everything you could possibly want from the guy, except the label "boyfriend and girlfriend" If you would have just let things continue slowly, without trying to stick a wrench in the works by forcing him to make a decision (which, by the way, he totally respected you by being honest because some guys would have told you anything you wanted to hear to get you to have sex). It sounds like you had a shot with a loyal, sensitive guy, and if you just slow down a little, you can still have that shot.
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