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questioning Religon
I really didnt know what to put this under so im sorry if its in the wrong catagory.
k well iv wanted to ask this qurestion for a while now but have been too hesitant. im 19 female if you need to know.
iv really been questioning religon lately. both my parents have their own religon, which i wont mention what it is because thats not the point. they feel very strong about it and believe in it. They think i should believe in it to because they think its the only way i will go to heaven or have a happy life etc.
when i was 4 i was continuously molestered to some random bastard,iv always been blamed for everything that happens within the family like arguements etc,i had a tumor which was cancerous,my bf proposed to me but found out that he only did it so he could get the green card etc (very long story).
my parents say that things happen to me because im not a good person i do bad things then bad things will happen to me so they assume im a bad pperson.this has really made me question things like what do i really believe in?i dont think i believe in my parent's religon.how do i know if this is the right religon to follow?i mean theres soo many religons out there which one is right?im so confused because i guess i want to believe in soemthing and im scared that if i dont believe in my parents religon then ill go to hell or bad things will happen to me in this life.its made me really depressed and emotional.i cant talk to my parents about it because they will be so angry (they think their religon is the way to go)but what if its not?i mean i was 4 years old for crying out loud how would i know what God is or what hell is etc and i still got molestered over and over again.am i really being punished?i just dont know what to think,im afaraid and i dont want to die not believing in anything :( but i dont want religon to be forced down my throat either.
I dont exactly know what im asking but what ever your thinking i guess id like to hear it.
Thank you, please please dont judge me.i cant help the way i think
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Want to answer more questions in the Miscellaneous category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Spirituality?
From your valuable letter it becomes clear that you are a beautiful and intelligent person. Thank you for taking a moment to share your powerful experiences!
Here are some thoughts that might be helpful...
Religion by itself simply represents a package created by humans designed to open your eyes to the absolute beauty and wonder we all share...
The word God and the beauty it represents doesn't necessarily belong to any one religion. With this in mind you can be free to discover the true nature of things naturally over time and in your own unique way.
It's true (as you know too well) that both positive and negative experiences exist within nature.
Ultimately, it will be through negative experiences that you will be guided to discover an even deeper appreciation for your positive potential to experience the absolute greatness you already are!
When you can begin to understand these words you will have a great sense of wisdom to share with others who will be asking the same questions as they attempt to understand what you already know.
It seems you are on an incredible journey. Use the negative to create the positive and soon you will live to celebrate your beautiful life! n.
To read more, visit: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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Firstly you are NOT a bad person for not wanting to believe in what others are trying to force down your throat. Religion or faith as I should say, is a very personal thing and cannot be devoured simply because someone is telling you to believe in it. Everyone wants to have something to believe in, so how about believing in yourself and then go from there. It sounds to me that your parents are very controlling and opinionated but you need to remember that, that is the life THEY have chosen for themselves and the way they choose how to act in life. Shit happens to everyone good and bad, if you do bad things all the time then at some point something bad will happen in your life but i have seen good people do great things, people who respect others and work hard and always get the shorter end of the stick. The molestation has definitely scarred you in some way as you have not been treated for this abuse. My advice would be to go see a phychologist and get treated for what sounds to me like POST TRAUMATIC STRESS, this may also help with the stress associated with the tumor and boyfriend issue also. Secondly, you will never die not believing in something, think about who you are as a person. What makes you unique? What are your passions? Things that make you happy and feel independent ??? Now Independence from your parents is what is needed here, you need to get out there live life, take what ever comes your way, the good and the bad and protect yourself from the one who make you feel like shit, the people who want to drag you down and make you feel worthless. You do NOT want these people in your life. Your family is your family and it might help trying to talk to them about the way that they make you feel, if you do that and they till dont want to listen then maybe you need to cut your losses and get out there and start living!!!!!
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Religion is for people who are scared to go to hell; spirituality is for people who have already been there.--Bonnie Raitt
You follow what is in your heart. I was molested as a child, too. In fact, it was almost like I had a sign on my forehead that said 'easy target." I know the whole thing is pretty devastating, but it is something that you can overcome when you accept a few things in your heart.
1. You being molested was not a punishment from God (for lack of a better term, I will just call the higher power "God"). People have their own free will, and that jerk who molested you used his own free will.
2. The genetals are made to feel good. Sometimes, people who were molested feel like they brought it upon themselves because it felt good. They feel like they asked for it. This is not true!!! Genetals are mode to feel good, and the next time you're out look at a 6 year old-pretty innocent, huh. Well that was you. You did nothing wrong, you are not dirty, or bad.
3. Who knows why bad things happen? The only thing you can do is resolve to make the best out of it. I bet you can tell sad little kids from a mile away, can't you. I'll bet you just instinctively know sexual predators, just like you can pick out kids who are being victimized. What happened to you is terrible, and the only thing you can do is accept it and know you will be able to help someone one day from having to deal with all of the pain alone.
4. As you get older, it will become easier. I promise.
OK, so now that you know that--Maybe it's time for you to start exploring what is in your heart. It's fine to take your parent's feelings into consideration, but they can't speak for you. Maybe it's not one religion, but a combination that feels right. Good luck.
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You are not being punished. Your parents reaction is not atypical of many religious believers.
The fact is that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Similarly good things can happen to bad people. Its an unfortunate side of life. I feel very sorry for what you had to go through, but I am quite sure it had nothing to do with your religious inclinations.
The problem with religious argumentation is precisely what you describe above. Everything is twisted to fit their world view (and btw I also have religious relatives, so I have been through this first hand).
If something bad happens its because you dont beleive. If you do believe, and something bad happens, then its either the devil or because you dont believe enough. If you are evil and something good happens, they will pay in the after life. In other words, NOTHING can happen that is considered a counter argument.
Karl Popper, a renowned philospher once said (more or less, this is off memory) that for a theory to have any value it has to define the terms by which it can be disproven. I.e. it must be falsifiable.
Think about it, thats why people of different religions have killed each other for centuries.
Have a look at this short video about some of the statisical correlations with atheism. After all, if God was directly punishing us like your parents imply, you would expect atheists to be up a creek without a paddle...
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
In the end whether one chooses to believe or not is a personal decision. However, do weigh in all the evidence, all the proof (or lack of it), and do not let yourself be intimidated or scared by anybody.
I am truly sorry about everything you had to go through, and I cannot say that I can even imagine what that was like. Clearly you have a great deal of personal strength to stand up for yourself after all that, and to question what you are being taught. I commend you on that.
I am not sure how helpful this answer was, but I hope you can use it for something.
Good luck.
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