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leaving a 9 year relationship
i'm female, 38 years old. I cannot come to a decsision about leaving my 9 year relationship. we are not married and have no children. he is a heavy drinker and smoker. he will not consider stopping drinking or smoking. he works but i know that i will not have a secure financial future with him. i have a good job and pay a majority of the bills. i love him but cannot decide if financial security is a good enough reason to leave.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
The main question is are you happy? And like the other poster said is he doing his share in this relationship?
Now I don't have a ton of relationship experience but with my boyfriend I can not even IMAGINE myself with someone better because for me there is no one better. Not that our lives are fairy tales (like he's getting deployed in a couple months) but I still would not have it any other way because I love him that much. Ultimately you have to make the decision, no one else can, but should you be with someone you are even kind of considering leaving?
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Financial security isn't a good enough reason to stay either. What is he providing for you? Because if he really loved you, he would want to stop drinking and smoking or whatever, to be a better person FOR YOU. When you're in a relationship, you do things not for yourself, but for your significant other. Either take a list, divide it by pros and cons..and see which list is longer with the more valuable qualities. You don't sound like you're happy to me, and after 9 years, you should have been married, dont you think? You may love him but he obviously doesn't love you if he's not even willing to meet you half way. I think you would be better on your own.
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