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Should I stay married?
I am wondering if I should stay married? To make a long story short My husband has never acted like he is in love with me. We are not affectionate and intimacy seems robotic and a chore. I have caught him in many white lies I have caught him hitting on other women (while he is drunk) and he hid a facebook page for over a year and deleted it after I found out and lied about a co-worker who was younger. I have snooped as a result of the lies and have never found anything horrible he just acts suspicious. He has stopped drinking and claims to be completely honest. I am waiting for the next ball to drop and not sure if I want to go on like this anymore but I am afraid I will throw it all away and he truly wants to change now. I feel like a doormat and am very confused. Again I have never caught him physically cheating not that it really matters b/c emotional is sometimes worse. Do I give him another chance and risk being a doormat b/c there are no guarantees anyway?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Marriages take work, and lots of it. You both have to work on your flaws. Believe me, you aren't the perfect wife, because there is no such thing.
What do I think you should do?
Marriage/couple's counseling would be a great start.
A fresh set of eyes and ears seeing your marriage with an unbiased view from outside the box could do wonders.
Don't be so quick to quit like most couples. Try every way to work out your marriage before calling it quits.
ESPECIALLY if there are children involved.
31/f
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Since you said that he has stopped drinking, I would give him a chance to see if he is going to stop lying also. I would tell him that you feel like he has never treated you as if he really loved you and I would ask him if he does and if he wants to save the marriage. If he does then I would ask him to go to couples counceling. They can bring out your feelings and his, as well as give tips and assignments on how to ignite and keep romance in your marriage. You made a commitment sometime ago to spend your life with this man, now I think that you need to do everything possible to work it out.
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I think if you dont feel comfortable in a marriage you shouldnt be in it and you should just stop the relationship now and save youself heartache because if hes done all that he could do more and a marraige that has no trust or love has no chance so if you dont end it now then it will end later on but it wont last because love and trust it needed so i say end it because you want to be happy and this is how you can be and he can be too so for the sake of both of yours happiness just stop and move on and live better and you will be happy with your decision even if it hurts now you feel much better about it later.
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