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is she a real friend?
16/f so i have this friend (she's 17) and i used to consider her as my best friend but now im not sure anymore?
it seems like shes always lying to me. like she was dating this guy for about 6 months and told me she had sex with him ( i didnt ask her to tell me but she always told me everything) and it was her 'first time'.
but then they broke up a few weeks later and about a month later (2 weeks ago) she told me that it was all a lie & that she never had sex with him BUT recently had sex with two 26 year old guys ( for the first time). & when i told her that it's crazy to have sex with two 26 year old guys (for the first time) you meet in a bar she got all mad and didnt wanna talk about it anymore. like she doesnt even care that its illigal or that she lost her virginity to some stranger. & she also told me that she likes one of them now. i think the whole thing is so slutty & dirty yet she keeps talking about it but i know that when i tell her that its just stupid she'll get mad etc and i hate fighting. she's changed so much & i dont know what to do anymore
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
She's really not a very good friend, currently. Don't get me wrong, it's not an irreparable situation, but it will definitely require some cooperation. You should sit your friend down in a really controlled kind of way. And make sure you use the sweetest and most friendly tones of voice that you can while you ask her to tell you what's really wrong and how you two can be a bit closer. If she says something unreasonable or begins to bring up all of the *bad* decisions that she's made recently, you really just have to tell her flat out that you don't agree with the decisions that she's made and that it's becoming difficult for you to cope with. If she can't respect you being the bigger person and just sitting her down to explain what's going through your mind, then she honestly isn't worth any more effort. If she can't understand your point of view, then the answer is no, she isn't your real friend. But don't give up until you give communication a try! Good luck!
xx(:
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:[ sounds like my friend. She went to the shore, hooked up with many guys in one night and totally changed. It wasn't like her at all.
I got upset, like I didn't know my own best friend. She started drinking heavily but saying she was being "classy" about it when she told me she had to remind herself how to walk.
I didn't understand what changed her. So yeah, I talked to her about it, but she would get mad at me and yell at me, saying I'm "judging" her and best friends don't judge people. I only wanted to help her. So I told a school counselor and they got her help. If my best friend is going down the wrong path quickly, I'm going to interfere and HELP her, even if she thinks she doesnt need it.
But I think you're situation is a bit worse. 26 year old guys ?! You need to tell someone. Because not only is that illegal, but she thinks it's normal and fine. You might not realize it, but she's telling you what she's doing because it's her way of crying out for help. In this case, age is NOT just a number, she could get herself into a potentially dangerous situation. These 26 year old guys are most likely using her for sex.
I think you need to talk to her. Tell her that she needs to stop this now. You need to tell her exactly how you feel and that you are only saying this because you care about her so much and that you don't want to see her end up in a bad situation. Even if you think she's going to get mad at you, you NEED to tell her to stop. she needs to know that someone cares. Yes, she'll probably get mad at you, but it won't last. There's something deeper going on, and you need to help her, but if you can't, then you need to tell someone. I know you hate fighting [so do i] but would you rather fight with her about this or lose her and let her go on spiraling downward ?
good luck ! hope i helped, and if you need anything else, I know what you're going through, so just inbox me. xxo.
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