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Trying so hard but still can't satisfy people
I'll make it as brief & clear as possible.
I am 19 and female. I live at home with my parents. My boyfriend and I are getting an apartment in a month or two (thank the Lord). But in my house, my parents always put me down and yell at me. I have clinical depression, and high anxiety. I am on lots of medication. I can't seek help b/c I am broke (just started working) and my parents think it's all in my head. My mom is an alcoholic so when she is drunk she likes to hit me, and yell at me. My dad doesn't drink [he's diabetic], but he yells at me and threatens me. Sometimes I have to go all day stuck in my room without food because my parents won't let me out.
I just started work at this bank. Well my manager has been very criticizing of me. I am a very emotional person. So when she does, I want to cry. And she says I need to be super happy with customers, like perky kinda happy. She got one complaint from a customer saying I didn't make her comfortable or something. I try my best to be happy. Yeah I smile.. but I can't be super happy. It's just really hard. At home I get all this crap, and I go to work. I feel depressed, and it's hard to be perky happy. I couldn't even pretend. I just feel so desolate.. I am trying to make everyone happy, but I don't know how.
Could someone please tell me what I should do.. how can I make everyone happy?
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Okay girl obviously you're going through alot, and i totally understand. I'm very emotional as well and it's hard for me to not cry at work. See what i did is i spoke to my managers about my situations at home and told them that i need all the help i can get. you have the right to do that to. My advice to you is to not worry about your parents anymore...because soon they wont be there to yell at you when you move out with your boyfriend. You're not gonna always make everyone happy, cause nobody is perfect at all whatsoever. I believe in you girl and know you can get through this. When you go home at night and go into your room i want you to grab your pillow and scream and yell into it. i gaurentee you'll feel alot better. Anyways, if you ever need anymore help i'm here for you girl. Hope i helped.
your friend, lulabell aka lulu
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okay well first rule of having a job.. home problems stay at home work problems stay at work. think about the future hun you must have an amazing boyfriend if the two of you are moving in together? think about you two living together.. find ways to control the way you feel. you are 19 now so its not like you can get children services involved now. if they are abusive i wouldnt recomend talking back but breaking something go out side and break something. or scream into a pillow certain music. dont just sit in your room and think about whats bothering you let it out. you are letting it build up inside of you.. get a notebook and just start writing. write untill your hand hurts and it doesnt evben matter if what you write makes sense i went through depression. with the customers. i had that problem when i first started my job and trust me it stunk lol. but just huge smile say hi how are you today. how can i help you keep a smile. tell them i hope you have a great day. stuff like that. good luck with your boyfriend and your job dont let your parents get you down.
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I feel your pain. I suffer from depression and anxiety as well, and I work in a very customer-service oriented job.
Your parents are a lost cause. The sooner you stop trying to make them happy, the better. They are toxic people, and you need to avoid that.
As for your job; you need to put on a happy face. Think of it as a mask. Whatever happens, you maintain that smile and that happy facade, no matter what you're feeling on the inside. Pretend. You need to, if you want to keep a customer service job.
Separate your work life from your home life. If you've had a bad day at home, then think of work as an escape; a chance to take a bad day and make it good. Take pride in your little accomplishments. If you made a miserable-looking person smile, or helped someone, give yourself a little internal gold star! You've done something good. If you have a bad customer, or your boss is in a pissy mood, it's their own fault. Pity them because they have to live with themselves, and you at least only had to spend 5 minutes talking to them.
You will need your boyfriend to get you through this. Make sure he is up to the challenge of helping you deal with work stress and home stress, especially when you move into the apartment. It's very difficult getting established in your first place, so that will be a source of stress, but it will be good stress.
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