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My boyfrien
I have been with my boyfriend for a year now and things have been great for the most part. I feel that I am successful and have a good job. He has said more than once that he is looking for someone who is his "equal" and not looking for a "dependent" I am quickly getting offended by his comments and thinking about slowing the relationship down. Am I correct in feeling that he is not really here for me and what about the bad times if and when they come??
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Hmmm, well, does he know you're getting offended by his comments ? Because he might not be wanting you to take it the wrong way, and he may be complimenting you in his own way, trying to tell you that he thinks he's found his equal .. [you] and he was never looking for a dependent. yuh know ? I mean, sometimes guys just have a really hard time with words, but communication is key, so ask him what he means by that. If he DOES mean it as you are the dependent one, then yes, you have a right to be upset about all of this. I would be upset too.
Think about it this way, if he wasn't really here for you, would he STILL be here after a year ? you could be starting to go through a rough patch, but what you really just need to do is sit down and talk to him about this. express your concerns and get his side of the story also.
And what about the bad time ? every couple has bad times, no one is perfect. my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 months and we have been through so many ups and downs, it's hard to keep a relationship fool proof. If they come, then you'll both deal with it together. It's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. You just have to have a very talkative relationship full of expressing your feelings.
But if you do suspect that he's not really here for you, here are some signs that will help you decide if he really is drifting away/being here for you or not..
- he doesnt start conversation
- he doesnt look at you in your eyes when you guys are talking
- he seems bored alot with you and just life in general
- he gets mad/frustrated at/with you very easily
- he constantly puts you down; not complimenting you
- he seems distant and doesnt want to talk as much
- he is always making excuses to not be around you
those are just some of the things that could give you an idea of whats going through his head, but honstly, the only thing you can do is TALK to him or nothing will be resolved and things will just get worse. and after you talk things out, and you still want to slow the relationship down, go for it. always follow your heart and trust your gut instinct.
good luck ! hope i helped, and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me :] xxo.
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