hello im 18/f and my boyfriend is 21/m we have been dating for about 7 months now. I've realized now that just this past month we've been having more little arguments lately. We really do love each other and i really think hes the one and i know he feels the same. Its just i have a problem with him smoking pot. I tell him i dont like it and he knows that but he says hes gonna do it anyways and he doesnt think he should change. I should like him for who he is. I do like him for who he is its just im tired of him doing it. I just hate it when he does. And those who do smoke pot out there please dont gimme a lecture on how it is possibly good for you. But its pretty much just been about that. There is no way of me getting him to stop. Is there anything you suggest i have pretty much tried everything. And he says he doesnt do good with punishments he just will keep doing it. I've tried it. Thanks to you all in advance!!
BUT this is how i feel. Get over it hun. I know it sounds harsh but im sure you guys drink together, thats not good for either of you. He should not have to change for you, if he enjoys smoking pot he has the right to do it. I hang with a crowd of smokers and non smokers. My best friend does not smoke, and her boyfriend is the biggest pot head i know. Around a year of their relation ship she started to get very irritated with it, then realized that smoking was a part of him and there is really no harm in it. If you dont want him to do it around you he should respect that. But relationships will never work if you have to ask people to change because he could just go find someone who will not ask him of that. really you wont get him to stop and if it is that much of a problem, then get over him. [ srh2323's advice column | Ask srh2323 A Question ]
steph2k10 answered Sunday August 23 2009, 9:59 am: I have been through this before.
I totally understand why you would want him to stop. First of all, you dont want to be influence you and possibly get you addicted to it. Secondly, you dont want him to get into trouble with the law, and third, you find it gross and repulsive. right?
You are going to have to be very serious about this, and give him the ultimate choice. Tell him that you love him, but his drug abuse is going to tear your relationsip apart.
so he needs to decided whats more important to him. Weed, or YOU. Tell him if he doesnt clean his act up, its over.
be strong. It will be very hard to do but you need to respect yourself and he needs to respect you as well.
If you had a bad habit, like, "sleeping with other guys" and he wanted you to change, you would, so why wont he stop smoking if he knows it makes you uncomfortable???
there is no double standards in real, successful relationships. Be strong, and tell him its you or the pot.
if he wont change, end it. Because he obviously doesnt respect you, and you dont want that. You deserve better
hope this helps! email me if you wanna talk about it. =]
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