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I forced my boyfriend to say he loves me! Now I don't know if he really does!
oh shoot =|
So my bf and I have been happily dating fir 5 months now. He is 19 and I am 18. The thing is, is that I feel that I forced him to say he loves me.
...the reason I feel this??
Well he told me like a month into our relationship that he has never told a girl that he loved them. He says that he takes those words very seriously and he only wants to say "I love you" to one girl the rest of his life. I respected that and thought it was sweet. So then we kept dating and a couple more months go by and I seriously started falling in love with him. I felt that he felt the same way. We would, instead of saying "I love you", say "I like you". It was used as if the word like was taking the place if the word love. Eventually this became frustrating for me and I would tell him "I don't like you baby...I more than like you" but I wouldn't actually say I love him because he had told me before not to say it because he wouldn't say it back. And I obviously didn't want to get hurt.
...fast forward to like month 3 or so. So there we are...lying in one of our friends houses hanging out upstairs while our friends are downstairs hanging out. So it's just me and him and we are all cuddly and kissing and stuff and I told him that I was sick of saying I "like" him blah blah blah cuz I didn't feel I "like" him, but a stronger feeling. He totally agreed with me and said he felt the same way. This just bothered me. So I told him that if we both feel this way then why aren't we saying it. So we ended up talking and finally he told me he loved me. It was awesome the way he said it too...he was all detailed and sweet. It was perfect how he said it.
But I totally nagged him about saying it for the longest time and he finally did, but I forced him.
So we have been saying "I love you" ever since. I really do love him. I am in love with him. But I'm scared...
Tonight I sent him a text saying "do u feel that I forced you to say you love me?" and his respons...
"sorry but ya kinda."
WHAT!?!
Then before I could find out any information more he ended up falling asleep before texting me back! Ahh!
So tell me...how am I supposed to know he actually does love me if he said I forced him??? Totally sucks. =\
But anyway...thanks for your help in advance. It is MUCH appreciated. :)
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It sounds to me that he really wasn't ready especially if he told you he thought you forced him. I know this isn't what you want to hear but I think what you need to do is talk to him about it and tell him you don't want him to say he loves you until he is ready and that you were sorry that you made him feel he had to say it. If he really does love you than he will tell you and don't let it get you down if he doesn't its better that he tells you when he really means it than just says it to make you happy. It sounds like love is a very serious matter to him and you should admire that cause its very rare. Just give him some time and if you are the one he will let you know.
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Well for starter's I'm going through the same thing with my bf (kinda), there's a few differences tho. For 1. i told him NOT to say it onless he means it. 2. He's still in love with his ex b/c they were together for 3 years and were gonna get married. and 3. I told him if he EVER said "I love you" without meaning it, i would leave.
So overall your sitation could be worse, don't ya think?
Secondly, u should go ahead and say it, even tho you know he won't say it back, it may hurt, but at least HE knows and YOU know that you love him.
Thirdly, Tell him that if he doesn't want to say those's words UNTILL he is actually ready then, he should.
Hopefully I helped.
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Saying "I love you" is easy, and can be an untruth.
"I love you" is a simple phrase, really. It's constructed of three simple words.
Its SHOWING love that matters.
Actions speak a hell of a lot louder than words.
Does he treat you as if he loves you?
Do his ACTIONS make you feel loved?
Answer those questions honestly, and you will see how he truly feels about you.
31/f
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some people just take a long time to say, but if you think about it, it means a whole lot more the longer it takes. there's not much you can do in this situation but to apologize for "forcing" him to say it, tell him that you understand if he doesn't say it again until he's ready and comfortable. if you guys are really as happy together as you say you are, he'll eventually say it and it will be very special to the both of you :)
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