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Heartbroken daughter...
My mother has been acting noticeably different for the past few months...she has a shorter fuse when it comes to things she would normally be very patient with. She is also forgetting things very easily anymore. I can't seem to ask her for help with anything anymore (something small, like "Have you seen this?" or something like that) without her getting irritated with me and saying hurtful things to me. She is constantly belittling me and making me feel like someone who is just invalid and an annoyance to her. I feel this coldness between the two of us, like she resents me somehow, and it's like I don't know her anymore, and it's hurting me more than you can imagine. I'm crying right now even as I type this, but quietly, because I'm afraid if she see's me crying she's going to get irritated at me and lecture me. This isn't some angry "nobody understands me" teenage rant. If it were something stupid like her grounding me, I wouldn't be asking for advice. I am at wits end, and I miss my mother so much...
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I completely understand what you are going through, my mom went through and episode like your mom is too. It could be a sign of something, but just give it some more time, luckily it wasnt anything too bad for my mom. It got to a point where I just broke down, and I was angry at her so I shut her down by ignoring her and keeping to myself, which took even more on of a toll on me because I missed who she was and who I was. This sounds completely ridiculous but the only time she listened to me was when I sat her down and had a serious conversation with her, and I cried. I told her everything, and there was so much emotion involved. You need to talk to your mom, and bring to attention what your view is of what is going on. Start the conversation with, "mom, are you okay lately? Is there something on you mind?" Something like that to open up conversation. My mom said no. Your mom will mostlikely say no too, thats when the emotions hit you and when you try to explain you just start to cry, and thats completely okay. Let your mom know that you have been noticing a change lately, how you feel like there is more tension, and perhaps maybe she is more iritable, make sure you dont accuse her, talk to her calmly and caringly. Tell her how much you love her. Provide some examples if she is in a little bit of denial, this way she can see what is going on. It will be okay, its normal for parents to get at their wits ends too, everyone does sometime. Let me know if you need to talk, Im here for you 100%.
xosodapopx3
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I don't know much I can tell you, but I do have a few questions that might help.
How old is your mom? Is she old enough for this to be an early sign of Alzheimer's? (I'm guessing, as young as you are, that this probably isn't the case, but worth asking)
Has she been under stress in other areas of her life?
It may not be easy, and you may be afraid of a negative reaction, but try asking her if she is doing alright. Let her know she seems different. She will probably snap at you for it, but it won't take long for her to think about the fact that you brought it up out of concern and let you know what is really going on. The key on that is showing concern and being kind and loving in the way you ask, and don't get defensive when she snaps at you about it. Just tell her you love her and if something is wrong, you are there for her, give her a hug, and walk away. Give her time and space to let that sink in, and you should get an answer.
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Maybe its just some mid-life crisis. However, you need time to tell what will happen, you can't push the subject "mom, can we talk" "mom, let's talk". Your mother loves you, that's a guarentee. She just needs to cool down and realize that she is hurting you or maybe you can talk to her. If you have an older relative like an aunt, talk to them. There are really good counselors out there to help with all sorts of things. If your mom has any siblings talk to them and see if they remember her being like this before. You don't realize it but maybe your mother has a lot going on, I know it's no excuse to treat her own daughter this way but there are always two sides of a story. If you ever need to talk my email is xocrazy4monkies@aim.com
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