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I deal with the stress of my parents is hurting my friends


Question Posted Monday August 17 2009, 4:05 am

I deal with the stress of my parents telling me I'm not good enough and the they dont love me and that they hate every choice I make. and with me dealing with that I take that all out on my best friend and he has done nothing wrong like honestly I think that like if I wasn't around a lot of people would be happy. I just don't know what to do anymore. Can some one Help

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LOL_x0x answered Monday August 17 2009, 8:57 pm:
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From there:


Dealing with stress is never easy, but I'll try to help you, even if only in the least.


Whenever I'm feeling stressed, like when I'm working on really tough homework or feel like I have too much going on with my friends, boys, my family, etc, I have a few ways of trying to calm myself down.


Here are a few tips that help me:

1. Listening to music.
- Now, I'm not talking heavy metal, screaming until your throat bleeds music. I mean, calm, mellow music. As far as what's on my "stressed" playlist, it includes, The Rocket Summer, Maroon 5, Daphne Loves Derby, Coldplay, and Jason Mraz to name a few. But, obviously, everyone's taste in music varies and you may hate those artists, or maybe not. Either way, I suggest finding some calm, slow songs that makes you happy listening to them, putting them into one playlist/cd and listening to it whenever you're feeling stressed or like there's just too much going on in your life.


2. Laying down.
- I literally lay down in the middle of my room, and watch my ceiling fan. I know this might sound weird or stupid or whatever, but it really helps. Just laying there watching, thinking, and breathing is really soothing in times of stress. Plus, it gives you time away from everything, in a sense, and time to just sort out all of your thoughts. You don't have to lay down in the middle of your bedroom floor, just laying down [alone] in your bed or someplace you think is comfortable should do the trick.


3. Writing.
- This usually helps me when I'm stressed or upset by my friends, a boy, or some sort of social aspect, ya know? Even if you're not good at writing, it's a good therapy or stress reliever. Poems, songs, stories, whatever you're into. It doesn't matter if it isn't "good", all that matters is that you're letting your feelings out and saying what you need to say. You could even just keep a journal, and just write down what's bothering you, why, and how you're feeling. And the best part, you can write whatever you want and you NEVER have to show ANYBODY! ;]


4. Some form of exercise or physical activity.
- For me, sometimes it's running. It helps me forget about whatever's going on, and the stressful things in my life. It also makes me feel productive, which is one of my favorite feelings. But it can be anything for you: walking, swimming, biking, heck, even playing Nintendo Wii is fine if it helps you calm down. PLUS, it's proven that exercise makes you feel better than you did before AND that people who exercise are proven to be happier and healthier than those who don't. Talk about an added bonus =]



Now that I've given you some tips to minimize the stress something else that can really help make it go away, is organization. Keep yourself on a schedule, and push yourself to get your schoolwork done or to get to work on time. Don't slack off or procrastinate, it really only adds to the stress and makes you feel worse =/


After all your hard work, reward yourself. So, say you ace a really hard final that you were totally unsure about, go buy yourself something you really want! You deserve it =]


I hope this helps!


-Laura (17-f)

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Grazia answered Monday August 17 2009, 4:03 pm:
I know how you feel...
The stress my parents give me has even given me suicidal thoughts before and I just started feeling like I'm a burden to the people in my life, especially my closest friends and boyfriend. My mum sounds a lot like the parental figures you described..
If he is your best friend, does he know what's going on in your life? Does he know why you take it out on him and what is causing you to? Talk to him, you need people close to you away from the stress your parents impose or you just won't be happy, more importantly you won't be yourself.
I know how you feel about being lost and not knowing what to do. If it gets too much and you need someone to talk to privately, just let me know. For now, till your situation gets better, you need to have people in your life and things you are passionate about.

You aren't a burden to your best friend, he will most probably understand your feelings more than you think. Talk to people who can help you, friends. You need it...

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