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humorist-workshop
Which guy, I have feelings for both...
How can you differentiate between true love and friendship love? I have known Harry for 7 months and I really really like him, he's sweet, good looking, a real gentleman, he's about 3 years older than me and lives about 2 hours away by train so not that geographically desirable but I really fancy him, however I only recently discovered this and the good thing is that the feeling is mutual. I have known James since I was a little kid, he's the boy next door so we spent a small portion of our childhood growing up together, having fun, sharing not just laughs but tears as well. He's the same age as me so not as mature as Harry but he's always been there for me and in some senses he's like a brother to me, for a long time now I've been attracted to him however I don't know if he feels the same way, i've given him openings, he came to my Yr11 prom as my date but he didn't once kiss me not even a peck at the end, nothing! Am I wasting my time with him? Should I just remain really good friends with him of should I take things a step further? I love James a lot more than Harry as I have known him for longer however I don't know whether this is true love of just strong emotional friendship. How would I find out whether James was intrested in me? James comes across as not that confident hovever I know inside he is, but even if the feelings mutual I doubt that he'll be the one to make the first move :( . Any suggestions, should I play safe with Harry or shall I take my chances with James as he is first and foremost the one I know better? Thanks so much for listening, I really apreciate what your doing and the time and thought you must put in to it is commendable. It takes a special kind of person to help complete strangers with there troubles as well as dealing with your own, respect.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Answer me this: when you think of James, do you feel the same feelings that you get with Harry? If you do, then this emotion could be more than the 'friendship love' which your feeling.
Another question: who do you feel more secure with? Who do you see yourself with in terms of a relationship? You need to ask these questions cause then it can help you to determine as to whom you want to be with. Gut feelings tend not to be wrong. If you feel that you can see that you could have a possible relationship with Harry, then give it a go. Why him first? Cause you already know that the feeling is mutual. Distance isn't an issue, cause I've got a friend who has got his girlfriend on the other side of the Atlantic!!!! A 2 hour train journey really shouldn't make that much of a difference.
As for James, I suggest that unless he begins to show signs of wanting to start a relationship, keep it to friendship cause you wouldn't want to put yourself in the position of making the friendship awkward. If he doesn't seem the kind to make the 1st move, don't try and put him in situations where he might.
I hope this helped,
triquetra
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