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i dont know my orientation
ok, im 15 an female and in a stage where im trying to find myself in life. I know most teens say they arent sure if their bi sexual, im way past that stage. I love females. Everything about them. But im confused about being a straight up lesbian. Im still attracted to the male gender. But anything intimate with them i am not down with. Ive been with males sexually and hate it. Just the thought of it disgusts me. Bu with a female i love it. What does it mean if im still attracted to males but cant get intimate? To be honest, i dont want to be a full lesbian. I dont know why but it scares me. Everyone supports my being bisexual, and would continue to support me no matter what, but im still scared to think of myself as lesbian. Someone please help me out. Im so confused.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Maybe your afraid of stereotypes.just be who you are& don't put a label on yourself.
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You are 15 hun. I didn't even know my bra size correctly at 15, and I didn't know my sexual orientation either! I was well into my 20s before I learned either of those things with any certainty at all.
If you are scarred or uncomfortable with the label lesbian, then don't use it. Nobody says you have too. There isn't some perfect, scientific, set criteria for being a bi-sexual. Many people consider themselves bi-sexual even though they only really date one gender. Many people consider themselves bisexual because they enjoy both genders sexually but they only want a romantic relationship with one of them. That's perfectly fine.
At 15 you've had maybe 2 or 3 years to really starting thinking about this. That's not a lot of time and it's okay not to have a perfect answer yet. Like I said, I didn't have a perfect answer then either. Even now, I know that the way I label my sexuality might change in the future. I might change. And that's okay.
It's an important thing to think about, but not an important thing to be stressed or unhappy about. Just do what you feel is right for you, and get into relationship and partnerships that you enjoy. Let your comfort with labels come second, and in it's own good time.
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First of all, here's a link to explain more about being a lesbian and other stuff so you understand it better:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Quick Story: I knew a girl who was bisexual. She dated a guy, yet, wanted to be with a female badly. After the relationship ended with the guy..
she tried the girl relationship. They've been together for 2 years, and they are happy.
I also knew a guy who isgay. He used to insist he was straight for so many years. He was afraid to even admit it to family/friends. But, after attending therapy..he had the courage to admit he was gay. He now is a pretty happy guy who knows who he truly is.
SOyou're 15 and, of course, you are trying to find yourself in life. you're hormones are crazy at this age. It's possible that right now you're not interested in sexual activity with men because you are so young and are still trying to find yourself. If not that, it's possible you just find yourself being able to relate emotionally better to males than females. Nothing wrong with that. The female thing: it scares you because, it's possible, that you want to like men both emotionally and sexually..but you just can't, so it scares you that you'd rather have sex with a woman than a man. I'm not saying being straight, gay, and/or a bisexual girl is wrong! The good thing is you have the freedom to choose what you prefer. Maybe you should try out a relationship with a female..explore a little bit. You already explored sexually with a male, and don't like it right now. But, by trying out the female relationship.. that may help you realize what you want in a relationship and what gender you would prefer to be with. Hopefully, that will lead to you knowing your orientation. Being a lesbian and/or bisexual is not wrong at all. I know so many people who are. And, they are wondeful people. Don't be scared of anything like that. All you can do, especially at this age, is explore different things so you can eventually (probably not anytime soon) find out who you really are.
Hope I helped out! If you need any more advice, feel free to inbox me. :)
Good luck.
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