and im in love with him, like madly in love with him. we dated for 5 months and he broke up with me. i had problems between him and my dad, my dad couldnt stand him and all that crap. and he said we needed a break. so i cryed and yeah, i was at my friends house when it happened. and the next day i hooked up with his bestfriend, i was not thinking at all. i totally ruined the chances with him again. he waas so upset and i felt terrible.
he had a bestfriend, and it was a girl, and they were bestfriends for a long time, i mean i didnt even have a big problem with her going over hhis house and stuff cuz i trusted both of them. a few weeks later.. they hooked up and "knew it was love." they started going out and hiding it from me and ugh i found out and i cryed so hard. and i still do ! the problem is .. I CANT GET OVER HIM ! its been months ! ive had boyfriends after him but no one is good like him, and i just wanna be with him ! me and her are not cool AT ALL. and always saying shit back and forth. they have a breaking up and getting back together thing going on right now. and i still talk to him, and everytime we hang out he cheats on her with me, i cant help it, and he tells me he loves me, and its just.. i wanna know if hes using me, and how to get over him, and just i cant take this pain anymore. pplease help me !?
LOL_x0x answered Wednesday August 5 2009, 11:13 am: I have found, firsthand, that the best way to get over a guy is to do the following:
Step 1: Have a really good cry.
- When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was super upset (like words cannot describe how bad I felt). But I told myself that I wasn't going to let it flip my entire world upside down. So I let myself have one really good cry, and then I told myself I'm going to start moving on. Which brings me to...
Step 2: Friends = lifesavers.
- Go to the mall and buy yourself something nice (don't over spend, though. Just something small, but nice. Like a new outfit or purse!) Or go see a movie, or out to dinner or something! Don't mope around your house all day doing nothing.
Step 3: Talk about it.
- It feels SO good to let it all out. Sit down with somebody you trust (for me, it was my mom) and just spill your heart out. Again, don't let it ruin your life or impact you too much.
Step 4: Move ON!
- Stop talking to him for a while (you need to give yourself time to get OVER him). Don't stalk his Facebook, spend time with other people, and don't even waste time TALKING about him.
Honestly, it's going to take time, and it's going to be hard, but once you get over him you will feel SO much better. I promise you that this guy is NOT worth wasting all of your time on, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Go out and find a new guy that treats you right and is WORTH your time. Forget about this guy ASAP. You're young and have plenty of time for guys. And, as one of my favorite books puts it: The first boy is always the hardest.
solariagirl94 answered Wednesday August 5 2009, 3:35 am: hah,I've been in the same shit,so to say...I was really hoping I wouldn't see there's someone else like me...Oh well.Let's see...this is all a giant love affair.He broke up with you,but then you hooked up with his bestfriend,and he hooked up with his another bestfriend who's a girl.Hm...pretty tricky.But here's what I think.He definitely doesn't love her if he's cheating on her with you. I think you should talk to him about it,if he means so much to you.He might be using you,that's most certainly not out of the question.Just try not to let him hurt you or force you to anything.When this happened to me,after everything was cleared up with the guy,I stayed with him for some time and I lost interest in him.I was also madly in love with him,just as you are now lol.I talked to him and we had everything sorted out,but I just needed to get away from him in the end,yet I thought I couldn't live without him.As for how to get over him,only time can heal that wound in your heart.When you get a new boyfriend,stop comparing him to that guy you dated for 5 months.You can't see their qualities because you try so hard to find something in them that HE had.When you stop doing that,you'll be a lot beter and able to get out of this emotional mess.
That's how I got over him.Hope I helped you.
Best wishes,
solariagirl94 [ solariagirl94's advice column | Ask solariagirl94 A Question ]
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