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reparing a friendship?
So ive been friends with this girl tanya basically my whole life and last summer we became bestfriends. than towards the end of the year we started being friends with these group of girls..and within the group tanya was just really bitchy and just overall a bad friend so we all decided not to be friends with her..however, a couple monthes later now, im starting to miss her a lott and i want my bestfriend back. so i texted her and she said it would take time before we ever became friends again..but the problem is i dont know where to go from here..do i text her or do i wait it out for her to text me. im so confused! helppp!
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Wait it out. Give her time to get over things, and let her come to you.
Repairing a friendship is going to be tough, and it's probably going to take a while, but if you're patient and really serious about it, you'll be fine. Like I said, just give Tanya time (because she has made it clear that she needs some) to get over the things that happened between the two of you. When she is ready, she will come to you and then the two of you can work on being friends again.
-Laura (17-f)
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Since Tanya has made it clear that this process will take time, you should wait a little while before texting her. You don't want to be too aggressive about it, but you don't want to just sit back for a long period of time and wait for her to do something. It has to be a mutual effort for it to work. If I were you, I'd wait a couple days before texting her again. If she texts you in that time, great! If not, send her a quick text just saying hey or whatever.
Hopefully after that, she'll make a move and text you next. At the end of your next conversation say, 'call or text me whenever you feel like talking'. That leaves it open for her to get in contact with you whenever she feels ready to. After that, give her some space until she texts you.
If more than a week goes by and she doesn't text, I'd try it one last time. Just send another quick text saying hey. If she doesn't make any effort to contact you, I'd give it up for a while. If you try all of that and she's not reciprocating anything, it's obvious that she either doesn't want to be friends right now or she's just not ready for it.
Either way, leave her be for a month or so and see if she contacts you. Hopefully you won't have to do all of that. It would be great if she just started talking to you more now and you both opened up to each other slowly. But if worse comes to worse, you can't force someone into a friendship, so you'll just have to give it up for the time being.
It sounds like she does want to be friends though. She seems cautious, which is expected. Just make sure that if you do become friends again, she understands why you stopped hanging out with her in the first place. You don't want a repeat of what happened before.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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