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schitzophrenic boyfriend. i need help so bad and fast
16/f
me and my boyfrend have been dating for a year but have been close since 8th grade. we are in 11th grade now. he has been depressed since 5th grade, he has been hearing voices since 8th grade and in 9th grade he stopped trusting everyone and didnt talk to anyone but me. which is weird because he is a very popular guy. captain of the football team, class clown, theatre, lax, and an all A student. in 10th grade things got weird when he started having anger problems and the worst mood swings. the bad part was that he didnt remember some of the things he did or said during these mood swings. it was like it wasnt him living the mood swings... it was someone else. or another part of him. its always been hard but lately we got in a long distance relationship when he moved. now we are 9 hours away from eachother by plane and our parents wont let us see eachother. a week ago, he had been telling me he couldnt handle anymore of this not seeing me and that he needed to be with me so bad. wel this week i told him i was coming to visit next week and he said im not so sure about that. i said why? he said because of my mental state. i know he had been alot downer than usual and had had a mental breakdown a few days before but i didnt think it would stop him from seeing me. i am understanding of his mood swings so i just said ok and left it at that. he said that the reason he didnt want me to come was because he had been having vivid dreams of killing me. the part that really freaked me out was when he said that after he killed me, he felt happy like a lifelong dream had been accomplished. i know that at times he despises me yet loves me at the same time. its hard to explain but this is why i think hes schitzophrenic. there are 2 parts of him. 1 part is the loving guy i know who would do anything for me and tells me he wants to be with me forever and thanks me for putting up with him and all his problems. the other part is the guy who has a deep hatred and jealousy of me. but even wen he is the 2nd part, he still calls to make sure im ok and still tells me he loves me. even though he hates me. he tells me all the time that i need to find a better guy because i am worth so much more than a guy with so many moodswings who acts like such an asshole. he doesnt understand that i love him more than anything and he is skeptical of what i want from him. i dont know how to get through to him that i love him more than anything and just want to be with him. he calls me a teenager and says i dont know what i want. even though he is younger than me.... haha he is very mature though. but anywho, i feel like im dating 2 different people. i hate the asshole side that wants me to die at times and is cynical and dark and doesnt trust me that i love him unconditionally. but i stick around because i love the sweet side of him whos my best friend and is there through anything no matter if hes in a mood swing or whatever. we both know that we love eachother more than anything and have a much deeper connection than 16 year olds are supposed to get. but i dont know if thats enough to help him and save our relationship. he needs help real bad and im really scared for him. he wants to be a marine because in society he cant deal with everyone. he refuses to see a psychiatrist or get medicated but i know thats the only thing that will help him. please help. he went from being the most popular guy in school to the most antisocial guy who just wants to write depressing songs and play piano all day. its really sad. im only 16 and this is so hard to handle. i love this boy so much and i cant imagine what hes going through. he wants to die so badly and i almost want him to die too so he can escape this world that hes not meant for. but id miss him too much so thats why im here. please help me save him
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Sounds like the guy needs to see a doctor, However I wouldn't call him "schitzophrenic" unless the doctors told him that he was. I would try to talk to his parents tell them what has been happening and that you are concerned for him also the part about him having dreams of killing you...is kind of scary. The guy needs some sort of help.
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He needs help.. no matter how much he denies or doesnt want to go, he needs to find a phycologist before he hurts you or himself. It sounds like he does have schitzophrenia and if he does then you cant leave him untreated. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind, hurt him to save him. Somehow MAKE him see a phycologist, i dont know how but it needs to happen now!
What have his parents said to you? I think you should call them and explain the whole situation, or even just show them what you have written to us, so they can also help you to help him.
I hope everything works out for the two of you :(
xoxox
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