|
How to feel better about breaking up with someone
We've been dating for 9 months. I just broke up with him about an hour ago. It was a gut feeling, really, so I didn't have much of a reason. I mean, I didn't want to be with him anymore I guess. He was my first boyfriend. Anyway, now that I've broken up with him I feel kind of bad and sad. How long will this last? I know I couldn't have stayed with him forever, right? Sure, he was wonderful and I was happy but he's just my first boyfriend. It just wasn't realistic to have hopes of "lasting forever" with him, right? :\
-Regretting-The-Break-Up
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
From there:
I have found, firsthand, that the best way to get over a guy is to do the following:
Step 1: Have a really good cry.
- When my boyfriend and I broke up, I was super upset (like words cannot describe how bad I felt). But I told myself that I wasn't going to let it flip my entire world upside down. So I let myself have one really good cry, and then I told myself I'm going to start moving on. Which brings me to...
Step 2: Friends = lifesavers.
- Go to the mall and buy yourself something nice (don't over spend, though. Just something small, but nice. Like a new outfit or purse!) Or go see a movie, or out to dinner or something! Don't mope around your house all day doing nothing.
Step 3: Talk about it.
- It feels SO good to let it all out. Sit down with somebody you trust (for me, it was my mom) and just spill your heart out. Again, don't let it ruin your life or impact you too much.
Step 4: Move ON!
- Stop talking to him for a while (you need to give yourself time to get OVER him). Don't stalk his Facebook, spend time with other people, and don't even waste time TALKING about him.
Honestly, it's going to take time, and it's going to be hard, but once you get over him you will feel SO much better. I promise you that this guy is NOT worth wasting all of your time on, and that there are plenty of other fish in the sea. Go out and find a new guy that treats you right and is WORTH your time. Forget about this guy ASAP. You're young and have plenty of time for guys. And, as one of my favorite books puts it: The first boy is always the hardest.
Best of luck! :)
As far as how long you will feel bad, it really depends. Sometimes, it's only a week. For other people, it's a month. It depends on how resilient you are, and how good your support system is. I strongly suggest using your friends' shoulders to cry on.
No, you probably wouldn't have lasted forever with him. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to get to your prince, but one day, you WILL find the person that you're meant to spend forever with, I promise :)
-Laura (17-f)
]
Trying to be "realistic" all of the time can get in the way of your happiness if you let it; I know because I do it to myself constantly.
But you shouldn't feel bad for breaking up with him if that is what you truly wanted. Think of it this way: if you had stayed with him but didn't feel anything for him anymore, that would not make either of you very happy.
Hoping you can find happiness with someone you really want to be with,
Lily
]
If you were happy why did you break up with him? I know it doesnt happen to most people but sometimes people do stay with their first boyfriends they've ever had. He may want a reason, because he's probably wondering what he did wrong so just reassure him that it wasnt his fault. Or just tell him you need time to think about things. If you really loved him and it was first love kinda thing that pain can last for a while but if its just first boyfriend kinda thing, i'd say you'd get over it in less an a couple weeks but everybody is different. Good luck :)
]
More Questions: |