What to do when you dont feel appreciated in relationship?
Question Posted Sunday June 28 2009, 10:07 pm
my boyfriend and i are going great but sometimes when i try to discuss things or try to talk about how im feeling he yells and gets mad and end up being an arguement about it.
Sit him down and tell him what you told us, that you feel like the relationship is great, but sometimes he freaks out on you. You shouldn't have to put up with this, and when you try to talk, he should listen. That's a big part of being in a relationship.
Darby answered Monday June 29 2009, 1:27 am: Well, your boyfriend shouldn't get angry when you try to discuss how you feel. Instead of trying to discuss how you feel and ending up in another argument, try asking him why he freaks out when you bring up your feelings. If you can't share feelings with your boyfriend, it's not a good relationship. There's no good connection unless the emotional connection is intact.
It also depends on how long you've been dating. If you've only been dating a very short time, he might just be overwhelmed. I don't know what you mean by trying tell him how you feel. I doubt you mean that you say, "Yeah, today was dreadful. I had to wake up at six this morning and I had to work over." Then he just freaks out and starts yelling.
Clearly, that doesn't make any sense, so I'm guessing you're trying to tell him something much more serious than how awful your work day was. You need to find out why he doesn't want to hear how you're feeling. It could be that he's just too selfish to listen to you talk, in which case, you should definitely leave him.
Just try to talk to him and figure out why he gets mad when you talk about how you feel. Don't bring it up when he's already mad at you because his anger will cover how he truly feels. Bring it up when you're both in decent moods and have a while to talk. If he gives you a valid reason, just explain to him that you want your emotional connection to be good so that you can have a good relationship. If he just gets angry that you're bringing it up, it's most likely time to find a new boyfriend.
xeViLxShArPiEx answered Sunday June 28 2009, 11:45 pm: How many times have you tried discussing it with your boyrfriend, and does he always act like that when you try to talk to him about it? I think you should try to talk to him one more time, and if he acts the same way, then maybe that means he's just not the one for you. I don't necessarily mean that you should give up altogether. but if he doesn't make an effort to change, maybe you should breakup with him. You deserve someone that treats you right, makes you feel happy, and most definitely APPRECIATES you. :) Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I really hope this helps. Good luck! :) [ xeViLxShArPiEx's advice column | Ask xeViLxShArPiEx A Question ]
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