|
Wrong to flirt with a guy in a relationship?
I kind of like this guy who has a girlfriend. I respect that, but he does kind of flirt with me (always trying to get me into a conversation when we're alone, even though we don't know each other that well). He's always asking me questions, but I never start the conversation first, and try not to ask him questions so as not start any drama with his girlfriend (I've never talked to her, but I'm under the impression she doesn't like me very much.. or maybe that bitchy glare is on her face permanently and she can't do anything about it).
I really want to talk to him and get to know him, and I think he's taking my reservation for lack of interest, because it seems like he's almost given up talking to me. (Although I do my best with body language, you know, smiling, maybe bending over just right so he can have a chance to check me out, and he has definitely caught me checking him out before (and I him).
Anyways, I guess my question is, is it okay to flirt with him as long as it doesn't get physical? Its just that I feel a bit guilty later whenever I even talk to him. Oh, and I always greet him with a nice smile and a hello, which so far is the only thing I feel is okay to do to a guy in a relationship.
Oh, and him and his girlfriend have been together for a while, but I think they are totally wrong for each other and I don't know what he sees in her, she's way too young for him. (She's a few years younger than me, and even I'm borderline too young for him).
Me 18/f, him 24
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Usually, I'd tell somebody in this situation to back off and calm down. Because think how you would feel if you found out somebody was flirting with your boyfriend when they knew you were together? Pretty bad, right?
However...how young IS his girlfriend? If she's really a few years younger than you (because like you said, even you are borderline young for him) then maybe you should be flirting with him. Somebody at that age shouldn't be with anybody younger than 18. Maybe you should flirt with him to make him realize it's not right for him to be with a young girl.
That being said, if you DO decide to start flirting with him (and limiting yourself to not getting physical), then it would be ok. Just BE CAREFUL, because he seems like he's kind of a shady guy. But that's just my opinion. Be sure to keep a distance, though, and not get too attached to him. At least, not until he ends things with this girlfriend (which he should!)
I know my answer was kind of confusing, but I hope it makes sense to you and you understand what I'm trying to say. :)
-Laura (17-f)
]
You have this a bit backwards:
Talking to a guy with a girlfriend is just fine. Go ahead and talk about 'friend' things as much as you'd like. Go ahead and start conversations if you guys have good, friendly conversations.
Physically flirting with him, making sure he gets a good angle, giving him encouraging body language and pawing at him and all that, is NOT okay.
Flirting really isn't okay. Althuogh sometimes we can't help it, we should always try too. And don't kid yourself, it’s already ‘gotten physical’. You are physically flirting and that’s wrong. You know you are doing it and you are trying to do it. That’s not cool.
Talking to him is how you get to know him as a friend.
Physically flirting with him is how you get yourself in trouble, and a bad reputation.
It's not nice, it's not friendly, and it's not dignified to deliberately put your body out there when he has a girlfriend. It doesn't matter if his girlfriend is insane, if she is playing him, or an idiot, or too young or even if she is the spawn of Satan! The physical flirting is still not okay.
Chatting with him and implying physical flirting with your conversations is also not okay.
Friendly conversations are just fine.
Talking, having a conversation, asking friendly questions and getting to know someone is okay.
So stick to that, and trying to stop flash him your flesh. That’s the thing that is wrong. You need to recongize that things can be 'physical' without you two actually touching one another at all, and avoid those things.
]
More Questions: |