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Yeah I know exactly what you mean. It is a very scary thing. We bought the house we are living just a little over a year ago, and I’ve only done a few small things to it since then. We started off living in a crappy ass house on base, we both got restationed after a year, and rented a little 2 bedroom apartment. After a little over a year we decided to rent a house because of privacy issues and such. We lived there for 2 years or so and then decided to buy a home. We loved it. It’s in such a nice neighborhood and great schools and everything. So everything that I have worked for my whole life is now coming crashing down and I have to start all over again. Probably live in a shitty little apartment again. It is a very scary thought. I also don’t want to get married again for a while, but I do want to be in a relationship with someone. I have never been the partier or the “Player.” I couldn’t just start dating a bunch of women, and have fun. It’s just not the type of person I am. So I am going to be looking for the next Mrs. Me. Although I won’t jump into marriage for a long time, because I now have my guard up. And I really don’t know what to say about what you’re going through. Your situation really sucks, and I’m sorry for that. It sounds to me like the biggest problem is that you don’t want to give up your marriage because you’re not sure what would happen afterwards. You are scared of the unknown. Well you’re definitely not alone there. Another thing is the whole not wanting to hurt him and his son. That is a very difficult situation, and it’s hard for me to be biased, because I didn’t want my wife to leave, even if it was just because she didn’t want to hurt me. Staying out of an obligation or because it’s easier. These are the same things my wife told me why she didn’t want to stay married. She didn’t want to stay just because it was easier than starting over, or because she felt obligated. So maybe she is right. YOU have to make YOU happy. You are the only person you have to live with, so why put yourself through pain and unhappiness. One thing that I have been trying my hardest to focus on is everything happens for a reason. I am starting to have some faith that whatever happens will happen because it’s supposed to. If my wife comes back, then maybe this was just a test. If she doesn’t then that’s because I wasn’t meant to be with her. Things of that nature. I guess what I mean is even though I am going through the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through, I have hope that something better is out there, and I will be ok. I am scared of the unknown. I wonder every day if I’m ever going to find something better than what I had. Bur I am not going to have any regrets because the time we did share was great, and I have a little girl now. I guess there are a lot of “what ifs” For you what I would suggest is fight for what you want. If you want a loving happy marriage, then fight for it, even if it’s not with your husband. If the next guy isn’t the right guy, then keep looking. I know that’s tough because you said your clock is ticking. I don’t know. I guess there really is no right answer here. My suggestion would just be to listen to your heart. If you don’t think it’s ever going to work out with your husband, then you shouldn’t waste your time. I think the sang goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” I can tell that you really do love your husband. I think if you didn’t you would’ve been gone already. Maybe he will change. I’m sorry that I can’t be more help on this subject. It is kinda hard when I am going through a very similar situation. The best advice I can give is this. You are scared of the unknown, well the unknown is this. No one knows if things between you and your husband will ever get better. No one will know if he can and will change. And no one knows if you will ever be truly happy with him. But if you do decide to leave him, I do know that you WILL find someone else.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know that I will find someone else, no doubt about that. I am every mans dream, and he knows this. The question is, do i want to find someone else? I always follow my heart. I think for me, I am just waiting on the right opportunity to leave. Right now I am really focused on accomplishing my dreams. I dream of owning my own store and I am presently working towards that. I am also trying to save up enough money so that I can purchase another home and leave him in the one that we just got, because although I made the deposit on the home, if I were to take it from him he would have no where to go. And I wouldn't want to see him left homeless. When he had issues at home and I had planned on leaving, he knew that I was just trying to save up enough money to go, he asked me and I told him. I like your self confidence and your positive attitude towards your situation. And I too believe that what is meant to be will be. God has a plan for each of us, and sometimes we try to hold on to things that God is trying to pull us away from because he has something better in store for us. I am just taking everything one day at a time and I try not to stress myself out about anything anymore. I use to really let things bother me one time ago, but not anymore. Life is too short for that. Anyway, I gatta run now. Will chat later.
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