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cant get hard
me and my boyfriend have been dating 6 months. befor we were dating, he was i guess u cud say a man whore haha he jus had sex wit alot of girls. he has depression and is going through a really hard time right now with family and stuff so he is stresesd. wel while we were dating for 6 months i am a virgin so he has gone without sex for 6 months. yesterday, he was going to take my virginity but he couldnt get hard. i was naked on his bed and he said he wanted to have sex with me so bad but he couldnt keep an erection. at one point he had one and then he was about to go in and it went away. he said he was embarassed and didnt know why it was happeneing but today we were lightly kissing in his bed and he got hard. i dont get it. it haappens at all the wrong times haha whats wrong with him?
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Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I find that I am a great deal older than most of the advisers on this site, so my advice will be somewhat different from what you have received and may continue to receive from others.
Erectile Dysfunction and Depression medication go hand in hand as do most medications for high blood pressure. If you are as young as I feel you are your boyfriends doctor may not have thought about this particular side effect.
What you experienced with you boyfriend getting hard during a petting session, you still do call it that don't you, was natural as some of the pressure to perform was not there.
There are two things you can do to help your boyfriend. First: Talk to him about talking to the doctor who is treating him for his depression about this problem. Second: Try non-penetrative sex with him. Just lying in bed, someplace where you won't be disturbed, and get to know each other’s body. Should your boyfriend get and maintain an erection let him decide if he wants to complete the act. What I am recommending is mutual masturbation and oral sex if you are both willing. Remember when it comes to sex both parties must consent for something to be consensual.
One other thing once you lose your virginity, this is assuming you hymen is still intact; you might want to consider using the female condom. See the following web site:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female condom
This will take additional pressure off your boyfriend.
Last, I recomend talking to your mother about this. I know talking to parents about sex, especially telling them you are about to become sexually active is not easy. If nothing else please take the following to heart. I'm old enough to be your grandfather so I have the wisdom of my age behind what I am about to say to you.
It is better that your parents, your mother specifically, know you are sexually active. They/she might not be happy with your decision but at the very least they can make sure you are aware and take care of your medical needs now that you are. They are also the best source of information for you in helping you make life changing decisions. Remember as parents we were all once your age and faced the same pressures you are facing. If we get upset it is not always because we are angry with you. It may be because we see you making the same mistakes we made at your age and our jobs as parents are to keep you safe and help guide you through life.
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His depression and/or meds he may take for that depression could be causing it. As has been said before me, just the stress of the situation could cause it. Fear of getting caught, fear of getting you pregnant...the list is long!
It couldn't hurt for him to speak to his doctor about it if it continues.
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My boyfriend and I were literally in the same exact situation! 6 months and everything haha
After waiting for so long, the fact that it was so surreal and was going to happen was pretty much too good to be true to them. Think of it as getting a little too excited, literally and instead of all the attention being down there, all the mental enjoyment was going on up in his head probably thinking "OH MY GOD YESS IT'S FINALLY GOING TO HAPPEN!" and then it's like oh shit...I forgot to work think with my other head =(
haha get it?
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