|
sex with my boyfriend
16/f
I have been with my boyfriend for about 7 months, he's my age. I really do love and trust him. he never pressures me into anything. We got on the topic of having sex. I feel like i'm emotionally ready, but i don't know if i'm physically ready. I haven't seen a gynecologist, get birth control, or get vaccination for cervical cancer. I don't want to take any chances, cause a condom isn't enough. so i want to wait, but how do i approach the whole situation? on top of that, how do i tell my mom?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
I really don't have much to add to what has already been said. Just wanted you to know that its refreshing to see someone who is actually thinking before having sex.
So long as he isn't pressuring you & you two are talking about it, tell him how you feel. I'm sure he has those same fears. They are not silly, they are very real. Condoms work very well, but accidents do happen. Pregnancy scares when you aren't prepared for it are emotionally draining, even for adults!
About the cervical cancer shot, I agree with witty
about that. I have worked in the medical field and personally would never take ANY new med until it was out for at least 7 years. Thats the recommended time to wait by those not looking to make a buck OR those doctors who use their own minds and don't just push things for drug company reps. As bad as I wanted to try Phenfen for weight loss when it first came out, I waited. A nurse friend lost a TON of weight so I knew it worked. Then people started dropping dead from heart attacks. Glad I waited! You can find more on that online. But it is becoming common. They rush things out to market without a lot of testing anymore.
Just have a talk with your mom about birth control. Have a girls day out or something and get her to yourself. She may be a little upset
at first. Its hard to realize your daughter is becoming a woman sometimes! But, she will be glad you came to her and are being smart. It will bring you closer together too. Give her time to
take it all in. She will. It may take a couple of days, be patient.
Boy, said a lot for someone with nothing to add!
Best of luck!
]
::Edit for feedback:
As far as I know the only real vaccine available is Guardasil, which is what I know all the studies have been done about. I haven't been able to search anything else up, at least.
::/Edit::
1) DO NOT get the HPV vaccine. Its been linked to infertility. New vaccines are to be avoided, if for no other reason than its been out less than 5 years, so its not possible to know the long term effects to it.
2) Do get on birth control. Gyno appointments are important, but in the mean time google your local planned parenthood. They can get you cheap generic prescriptions.
3) Bring up the gynecologist. In my experience, no parent handles "Mom/Dad, I need birth control because I am going to have sex" well. Especially out of the blue.
What I recommend is approaching it from the "I want to, but I am not going to yet" stance. Try something like this
"Mom, I'd like to see a gynecologist."
What? Why?
"Well, You know I've been dating, and I've found that I'm starting to want things I didn't want before. I'd like to be responsible and get on birth control."
Oh god, you're going to have sex.
"Actually, no, I'm not. I'm not ready for sex yet. But despite not being ready, I want to be. I think its important for me to start acting like an adult in regards to sex now, so that when the decision is eventually made, I'm prepared in advance to make the decision responsibly. Plus, I'd like to talk to a gyno, I have a few questions I don't think I'd be comfy asking anyone except a doctor."
uhhhhhhhhh.... I guess you're right...
Do things pretty much like that, and they can't really say no. You throw sexuality at them without putting a "your daughter will not be a virgin next week" deadline on it. At least in their eyes. Your parents have a responsibility to keep you safe. By doing this, you fulfill that responsibility. Beyond that, its not their business, don't involve them.
]
First of all, thank you SO MUCH for not jumping into having sex with your boyfriend, and then coming on here after the fact to ask what to do to prevent STDs and whatnot.
That is very responsible of you.
See a gynecologist. Ask about birth control. Get a vaccination. Do all those things you talked about.
And, you should confront your mother and tell her that you think you're ready to start having sex, but you want to make sure you take precautions. Make sure you let her see that you're trying to be responsible. She might be able to help you take these precautions.
I think approaching your mom is really responsible, rather than going behind her back, and then later coming to her telling her you already HAD sex and that you're pregnant or have an STD.
--Jack
(17/m)
]
More Questions: |