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humorist-workshop
Reply I hope you don’t mind me constantly emailing you. I hope you aren’t getting sick of me. My wife was gone last week and is also gone for this week so I am constantly on here. You do give very good advice. Sometimes I feel like I should be paying you 300 dollars an hour. LOL. Anyways, pretty much everything you said you want in a guy is not unreasonable. I actually am that guy. I have ALWAYS told her that I love her. I guess maybe I didn’t show it as much lately, but she was always well aware of how I felt about her. I do not have any trouble expressing my emotions. I always greeted her with hugs, and asked her how her day was. I never ignored her, or acted like I didn’t care. I also am her best friend. She has even recently told me that I still am. I always cuddle with her at night, and I think I can hold my own in the bedroom. I definitely know that she is satisfied with our sex life. We do usually only have sex when I want it though, but that’s because she is always afraid to initiate. She has told me recently that she has wanted it but never made the move. Maybe fear of rejection or something. And as far as the bills, that’s not an issue with us. We both make about the same amount of money, and we have only a joint account. We pay all the bills with both our paychecks, as we don’t have any bills that our just mine or hers. I would come home from work and bring her chocolate. I always cook, even more than her. I would help out around the house on occasion, and always email her at work to tell her I love her. I never stopped doing any of those things, and am even doing more now. Like I said I always thought I was a great husband. I have always treated her like a queen. This is why I have always been such a great man in her friends’ eyes. I never yelled at her, and always respected her feelings. Our arguments always consisted of one of us getting upset and just becoming quiet. We would spend a little bit of time in separate rooms, and be fine again a couple hours later. I honestly can count our arguments in 7 years on 2 hands. I think the big factor with her falling out of love with me was our daughter. You see I am not the very best guy when it comes to kids. If we’re at a party with a lot of kids, I’m not the guy playing the monster chasing them all over, or crawling on the ground pretending to get beat up. I just get uncomfortable around kids that aren’t mine. I’m the guy that if you hand me a baby, I get very uncomfortable. Now I’m not like that with my daughter, but I still am not very active in her life. I wouldn’t say “hey lets go to the park,” and spend the day with her by myself. I never really took the initiative to give her baths or change her diapers. I did those things, but only after my wife would ask me to. I think this is the # 1 REASON she started to get frustrated with me. She wanted me to be the guy that would dance with all the kids at a picnic or play guitar for my daughter’s class. It’s just not who I am. And since my wife is the opposite in that regard she saw that in the other guy. I can try to change that but I think that is one thing I won’t be able to fix. Hopefully she can accept that in me. This is the one thing I would change about myself if I could, but I still think that I have a lot to offer. I think I am better than most of the men out there. I respect women very much, and always put them before myself. I know that I am better than this other guy. I did try to convince my wife of that, but she wasn’t listening to that. Well thanks for the intimacy advice. I will definitely do those things. She came home today to see Aubrey before she went to pick a friend up from the airport and she gave me a hug. I was shocked. So I still think there is hope. I just have to become more desirable to her. I will keep doing what I know how, and try some of the things I don’t. So how about you? How are things going with you? Have you figured out what you are going to do yet?
[ ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
No I am not getting tired of your emails, I actually look forward to receiving them, and yes I will take that $300 an hour. LOL. You seem to be one of the "perfect men" left in the world. I don't see why your wife is upset, becuase if I had a husband like you I can asure you, you would not want to leave home at home, when you go to work, your main focus would be to hurry up to get home to me. Most women would die to have a man like you. I can understand your wife wanting you to play a more active role in your childs life, but in the life of the other kids that aren't yours, that would have to be your decision. I admire the fact that both you and your wife know how to control your temper and avoid tempered arguments. My house is the total opposite. As for my relatinship, I really want to make it work. I don't want to give up on him, because I know deep down he really is a good guy, but when he is stressed out financially he tends to take it out on me and I can't deal with that. I really wish that he can find a steady job where he can meet his financial obligations and cut me some slack. I want him to be a more affectionate person as well, he is trying a little harder than he was a few years ago, but still not as much as I would like him to be. He says that when he is stressed out, he doesn't want to be affectionate or be around me to make me unhappy. He told me that when he is not able to take care of his responsibilites and be the man he needs to be then he feels like less than a man. But i'm taking it one day at a time. I'll see what happens. ]
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