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booty call.. can it turn into a relationship?
Hi,
I am 18 years old. I have known this guy for more than a year. He is turning 22 soon. We started hooking up right away but we were never in relationship. We see each other almost every weekend but only at night just to have sex. Last week he asked me to hang out and it was not even 7 pm but i said No. I believe now he thinks that i am just using him for sex and he knows that i hook up with other guys besides just him. I know I would never have sex with anyone else but I am not sure if I like him. I get jealous all the time I see him around other girls, but it works out because I always with other guys too. Is there a way this can turn into a real relationship? How can I do that?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I think the best thing to do is to say something like this to him, "hey, you know, I'm cool with how our relationship is, but I'm beginning to wonder if there might be the potential for something more. Don't take this as a marraige proposal, or anything, but I'm not giong to hook up with anyone else besides you, and I want you to know that." Then, really do it, just to see how you feel, even if it's only for a month. Only thing is, if you do start having sex with someone else you have to tell him because it's not fair to lead someone to believe they are the only one if they're not. Then, it will be his decision if he thinks you're the girl he wants to take it farther with. He will respect you for your maturity and non-game whatever his answer is. His answer will tell you alot about what's going on in his head. If he says nothing, don't assume the negative, he may just need time to chew, but in order to save your sanity, assume he is having sex with other people. If he tells you he's not ready for a relationship, tell him, "it's not about you, it's about me." This way, if he rejects you you can blame it on personal growth. If he tells you he's not going to sleep with anyone else, either, you will have to start really thinking seriously on whether you want him to be yours.
Oh yeah, if you decide to talk to him about this, you run the slight risk of your relationship changing, one way, or the other. He could totally back off, but I think it is unlikely unless you all of a sudden start acting like a spaz.
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The only way that you'll ever know is if you hang out with him outside of the house and actually go out on a date. I was in a relationship like this and had a hard time getting out of it and getting into a real relationship.
I didn't think I had any actual boyfriend feelings towards him, but I still had sex with him and other guys too. But I would get very jealous when I would see other girls around him and he'd get jealous when I'd be around other guys.
So, yeah your best bet is to go out to a movie or like the zoo or something. Something where yall will not be tempted to have sex. Like maybe try to hold off having sex with him too, because you'll confuse yourself - you'll think since you like the sex that you like him & his personality when you may not.
It's hard to tell you if a booty call possibly could turn into a relationship because everyone is different and he may have feelings towards you that you don't know about. Just hang out with him outside of the bedroom, give it a few times and see if you actually like HIM!
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