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I really dont know where to start, i guess i'll start telling you that me and my boyfriend have been together for about three months now. He really is a good person, and he is everything i've wished of having in my life. But one day while i was on facebook, i noticed he was setting his statuses like "____ is gonna smoke 4 grahams later." and stuff like that. He never told me he was smoking pot, but he chooses to tell the whole world?
So i approached him about it, and i'm uncomfortable as it is with him smoking it but i decided i'd be cool about it. So he told me that he only does it about once every 3 months, and told me that nobodys ever died from it, you cant get addicted to it, and its a natural plant and stuff.
So everything was cool for a while, until he started hanging out with the group of kids who arte major pot heads. He's getting high more and more, and i really hate it, but as long as it didn't affect or interfere with our relationship, i wont be comfortable with it, but i wont be a nosey girlfriend and complain to him. So i left it alone
Do you get me so far?
Plus, if i tell him i dont like it, him hanging out with those kids will continue to have him smoke it. It's not like i can control his social life.
Am i making any sense.
So this is the part where the problems start forming...
I had to go away for 3 days because my cousin was getting married, so on the night of the rehearsal dinner i get a text from him.
"Hey i'm REALLY F***** up right now. Wanna send me some naked pics? I'm so horny."
I felt like crying because i knew that i probably wasn't the only one he texted.
I also knew that he had been getting high and/or drinking... or i even considered that maybe it wasn't him.
So i texted him the next day asking him about it and he told me he didnt remember saying that... and that he had smoked 4 grahams and drank a half bottle of vodka with these people i didnt even know. A little upset, but relieved i finally knew what happened, we talked normally.
When i got home, i checked my facebook and noticed i was tagged in a note and the first thing was "10 things i'd say to 10 people" and he put
"I really dont wanna hook up with you, i didnt know what i was saying. i have a girlfriend."
That's when i started crying.... and found out that i was right. I hadn't been the only one he sent a dirty text to.
I know he didnt mean to do it, but the fact he knew anything could happen when he got high and drunk made me feel like he doesnt care about me. When i know he does. So i get on the bus this morning and i go to sit next to him because were on the same bus and he said "I want to sleep."
...I dont know. I feel like these kids are changing who he is and its definatley interefering with our relationship which brings me into the picture.
What do i do?
I care about him too much to break it off, and i dont know if hes gonna break up with me first but i really need some help.
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weed, drinkin, and relationships really dont mix. i had the same problem with my boyfriend because we'd drink and smoke and do other stuff not together, and that always leaves a big question on what happened. now if we smoke, we smoke together. drink, drink together...
basically you should tell him that you dont like doin the things he does because it makes him act different towards other girls and towards you. it hurts you and if he really respects you he'll understand it.
if he doesnt then hes not the guy you need to be with. and sadly even though you cannot get physically addicted to weed like other drugs, your brain can be addicted to it.
hope everythin goes okay!
x sweeethoney
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It seems like he likes weed more than you and you should just break up with him because it's going to get out of hand one day and god knows what's going to happen.
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Well, to me it sounds like you are uncomfortable with him doing this. I have been in the same exact situation before and i tried to make it work but i always worried about him and i knew that secretly deep down i hated it and didn't want a pot head boyfriend. Or one that drank a lot. So, i gave him one chance, and that was to quit, and he said he would but he broke his promise so i cut it off even though i really thought i loved him. Tell him how you feel about it and see what happens. If he really cares about you enough, then he will care what your wishes are. And you wont be a bad girlfriend if you tell him that. Your just setting some standards. There is no reason he should be sending those messages to other people when he has a girlfriend, no matter how messed up he is. It's not right. If you have any other questions, let me know. I know what your going through. Good luck! Hope this helps.
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