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i I feel lonley and pathetic somtimes. today is that somtime
I find my self asking questions on this site about anything and everything that im feeling just to know that some body out there cares and wants to help. i havent had a girlfriend in 5 years'ish, and the only girls in my life that i have ever wanted to love all have boy friends now. feeling like iv been left behind... maybe im too closed off to people, i used to get bullied as a kid a bit but then i grew up and actually became quite normall with a bunch of a friends and the peopel that used to bully me i have forgivven (kids do stupid stuff and i try not to dwell on the bad things) they have all grown up too now and are quite decent people really when it comes down to it. (not all of them grew up though..) anyway's i guess because of that i spent most of my childhood thinking that i am unwanted among other people besides my family and the few friends i had back then. now im 18 (male) and i guess, beneath the forgiving happy allways smiling face that so many people at college allways like to see me as i guess i am just... lonley as hell, i dont open up to many people and if i do its on the internet because i can be annonymous if i want to be. i try to tell people how i feel but they allways talk to some one else about it, taking today for example i was passing notes to my friend (who's a girl) and the convo wasnt a very interesting one so i wrote somthing about me being a bit horny and why the hormones dont lay off a bit till i get a girlfriend as a joke. its sotmhing that i would share with her because i could trust her... she laughs and reads it out loud in a silent room. i went bright red with sheer shock embarrsesment and anger but as i allways do bottled it in and plugged me self into some heavy metal to burn my anger in somthing creativel'y brutal. i guess while i was getting that off my chest i forgot what my real question was... sorry its a long read, but detailed advice would be greatly appreciated to help me along with this problem i got, thanks.
by the way i dont think my friend got why i was upset and i wouldnt tell her, does she have a right to know? i keep telling my self i dont tell people whats wrong with me because its either not thier problem or i care for them too much to make them unhappy and involved with my problems
thanks
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Hey you know do not beat yourself up. I feel that way all the time, believe me! All my friends they almost always appear like they are having a good time, (which in turn makes me feel left out)and there I am in a different mood not feeling what they feel so I do not tell them because I do not want to bring them down. I totally understand you completely. I have bottled up too many things in life (which I now regret even though I am not really that old at all!) so if you want to tell her you should. Maybe she will even understand where you are coming from, just like I do. Hope this helps and best of luck to you! =D
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Hang in there buddy it's gonna be alright. It's normal to have this drought in your life it happens to the best of us. Remember it's always darkest before the dawn things will get better. The whole girlfriend thing is overrated just have fun dating and hanging out. One day u gonna meet a great girl that completes your life. As for friends just try your best to be social. If your in college join clubs its a great way to meet folks. As for the aforementioned friend just give it time. A little rest period usually fixes things but try and talk it out. Everybody has a part to play in this world and people do care about you.
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