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So upset.
First off, I'm in a long distance relationship. Yesterday was my boyfriend's birthday, and I didn't talk to him at all. He went out with friends, and didn't get back til real late, so okay whatever. Today he left a voicemail saying to call him at 7. I did, and he was sleeping. He got up at about 11, so we talked for a good 5 minutes..uhhh. I could tell he was on xbox, so I told him to go play with his buddies and we'd talk tomorrow. He happily left.
Now, I truly don't mind him going to play, I suggested it..but this happens everyday now. This has happened for the past 3 weeks, and I just don''t have the heart to tell him how much it hurts me. I wait literally all day long to speak to him, and when the chance finally comes, we talk no longer than 10 minutes, and he leaves to play xbox, says he'll talk to me tomorow, and the pattern repeats. I mean, our relationship is long distance, communication is the only damn way we can keep this thing going.
I don't know whether to tell him, and he see me as some whiny girlfriend, or just continue to let it happen. Everytime I hang up the phone after telling him to go play xbox I immediately start crying. And I never tell him this, he has no idea how much talking to him means to me. I'd just like to feel a little more important than his xbox friends, whom he doesn't know in real life. To make things worse, the 5 minutes we do spend talking..he talks about xbox. And usually about new girls he's added to his xbox friends list.
God, please, just any help/advice would be appreciated. I'm tired of crying.
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I know what exactly you're going through!! You know, I am in a long distance relationship, too. And my boyfriend did this to me a whole lot! He thought games were more important.. or actually TV.. was more important than me. When we talked, it was a 5-minute thing, and he wanted to leave to watch a TV show or go to bed. After he promised repeatedly he'd talk to me..
Don't end it just yet. Here is what worked for me [at least]. When he answers (or you call), demand him to stay on the phone. And talk, tell him how you feel. And if he doesn't want to work it out, threaten to leave him.
Or, don't even bother calling him. Give him the silent treatment for a few days.
Honestly, he may first around not give a total crap, and not talk to you. But, you may have to give it a few days and then he'll come around.
So, if he still wants to keep playing games, let him. If he doesn't want it to work, break up with him. I did this to my boyfriend, and every time, he'd call me within a week and beg for forgiveness. I even reached his mom to help me out (I know that sounds like a bitch move, but it worked).
You should tell him how you feel. You have a right to get upset and you have a right to cry about it. That isn't being a whiner. If he ever thinks you're being a whiner then he's just a sophomoric immature little kid wanting to play games. I know you love him strongly! It's very very hard to be assertive about it.. I know.. I can't tell you how hard it is. I hate people telling me that it was the best thing to do, or you'll find someone better. Well right now it's nothing like that. You love him strongly and you want this to work. But if he doesn't want to cooperate then he isn't worth your time anymore.
Try talking to him. Don't be afraid to. He needs to know or else the problem will never be fixed. It's hard, but it needs to be done.
I know this is heartbreaking. I am not just going to sit here and tell you to break-up with him off the bat. There are things you can try doing before we get on that road. We both know you love him, and you want this to be an everlasting long relationship. Tell him how you feel. Like I said, if he doesn't want to cooperate, just give him the silent treatment and hang out with some friends. It's very hard to get your mind off him, trust me, I know.. but it's the only way to feel better. I always listened to some music to cry it out, then listen to music that has a "I am a strong woman" theme to it, and it makes me feel better.
I hope it all works out. If you'd like, you can always keep me posted on what's going on. Please do, I know what exactly you're going through.
Take care,
Leah
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This doesn't sound worth saving.
I know that sucks to hear, but you haven't given us any reasons you should be invested in this, especially if we're talking weeks of behavior.
I've done distance. It worked only because at least once every three days we'd have a three to seven hour discussion on some random topic. The desire to talk was always mutual. If its not, things fall apart. We'd have times where we talked every night we were apart for two or more hours for a month straight.
Its time to move on and find someone in your own zip code. Unless you're an adult who's capable of turning distance into more if you wished, its not a good idea.
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