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is the relationship really over?
First off, I am a 22 year old male. I was in a 5 year relationship with the love of my life. We have two children together, which in hindsight was way too early, but hey. She left me two months ago, for which she said I didn't pay enough attention to her, which was valid. However, since then, she has continued to speak to me, and every day is different. One day, she says she just needs a little time but I am the most important man in her life. The next, she says she is completely done. What the heck!? She tells me to treat her with respect and show her that I can give her some attention, and she'll come home. However, she is out living the life of a single 20 year old. Clubs, talking to guys, the whole 9, and it's difficult to give her the respect she truly deserves. She was a great mom and a great girlfriend. Should I just leave her alone for a few weeks, or what? FYI, there has been no previous infidelity, and just today she bounced from "I'd love to come home tonight and watch a movie with you", to "I might talk to you tomorrow when I pick up the kids, maybe." (!) Help!
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It sounds like both of you need to grow up a little. You're in the process, its quite obvious you're trying hard here.
With that said, theres not a ton we can tell you to help. Simply put, we don't know her, we don't know you, and we don't know the situation, all of these are important.
It sounds like she's freaking out about responsibility and is out being somewhat of an attention whore, in addition to whatever problems exist in the relationship.
Counseling is needed. Ask her if she'll go see one. Beyond that, all you can really do is give it time. And talk. Talk is good, communication is obviously a problem with you guys. Start talking. Open up a little and try to get her to do the same.
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Find a good relationship counselor. If you can't afford one on your own, ask your parents, or hers, for support with this. Because regardless of whether this relationship is over or not, you and her need to come to some understandings about the way you are going to parent, and that is very difficult to do without a moderator.
Maybe, while you are there, you can deal with your relationship as well, but the more important thing, by far, is to make sure you two on are on the same page when it comes to the communicating about the kids. That means both of you being consistant and relaible.
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