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Getting worse
Well you and my gut were right. Sure as shit 3 weeks after I found out and she broke off all contact with him, they started talking again online. And I caught her again. I am at the lowest place I have ever been in my life. Words cannot describe the pain I feel. I guess since she wasn't feeling any differently about me even though I did a complete 180 on the things she said I was doing wrong. This caused her to give up and give into the temptation of this fantasy world she had built with this other guy. Extremely selfish if you ask me. She said she wasn't happy with me and believes she would be happy alone or with this other guy. My entire family and at least her mom thinks she is crazy. She is throwing away this wonderful thing. Giving up on our family, for something which she doesn't even know the end result. The thought of another guy raising my child tears me up inside. And I still want to forgive her and work it out. She says she is gonna cut off all contact with him again, I'm gonna leave and go visit family for a couple of weeks, to give her time to really figure out what the hell it is that she wants. Even though she basically told me she wants to seperate. I am hoping that me being gone (in another state) for a while will wake her up. Cause if this fantasy she has been living becomes reality I think she will regret it for the rest of her life. I know that a lot of guys might say this, but I'm a great husband. She could end up with an abusive alcoholic, child abuser, stds, and so many other horrible alternatives to this wonderful life we have built together. How could I still even want to work this out? I must be insane. She lied and betrayed me twice. In a matter of 3 weeks. Maybe its me living in a fantasy world not wanting to let her go. Oh and FYI, I'm almost 100% positive that she did not sleep with him. She would have told me after all the horrible things I said to her the moment I caught her, again! She still swears on our daughters life that she didn't, and I do believe her. I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I might not be on for a couple of days. For what it's worth I really enjoyed talking to you. You have been a good friend and someone to lean on these past few days. I wish you all the best and hope you can be happy again in your marriage. I just know have to start coping with the fact that my marriage is probably over. I will at least have no regrets. I tried everything i could. Reply? As soon as I get a chance I will check it as soon as I can.
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As far as my marriage is concerned, I am now happier than I have ever been. I do wish you well. Make sure that your wife is able to contact you while you are out of state. It would have been really nice if you had somewhere in state that you could stay fora while. I do hope that your wife comes to her senses really soon and that you to can begin to mend your relationship. Your wife is probally feeling like she is missing out on something. I know I felt this way when I started my affair. I had been with my now husband since I was 19 and I am now 29, will be 30 in a month. Before him I only had one relationship, I didn't date or anything, so I flelt like I was missing out on alot. I'm sure she will come around, it's just up to you to decided to wait and for how long. Wish you all the best. Keep me posted. And don't give up on your child, be there for her no matter what.
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