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He's so difficult!
Okay well I like this guy and he likes me but for various reasons (age being one of them) we have decided that we dont want to date. See, he is 14/m and I am 13/f and we have both agreed that we just aren't mature enough for all of that. But, we still like eachother... A lot. It can get kind of messy when it comes to other genders though. Neither of us are interested in anyone else, but I can get a little jelous and he can be kind of protective, but it just kind of... works out. I dont know, tell me if I'm setting myself up for disaster...
Anyway, that's not the point. That's kind of background info. The problem is, he's INCREDIBLY stubborn. I'm kind of... controling I guess? Haha not really but I am definitely not used to such a difficult boy. He believes that "the male is in charge" and he's NEVER disrespectful, just very obstinate. I have to go to extreme lengths to convince him to do anything. And I promise I'm not being one of those annoying girls who thinks boys should do whstever they tell them, he is honestly way too stubborn. It drives me crazy! As I said, not disrespectful, but hes so stubborn I feel like hes missing out on all kinds of things, and I just want to be able to convince him to do things. I've tried everything in the book, making puppy faces, saying "pretty please?", the whole shebang, and all I get is "sorry baby, no means no". Any help? Steadegies? I really like him, but this the only bump, and I know I can't change him but I need advice on how to deal with it or how to help myself get over it. Are there any perks? Help!
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I'm glad you respect his differences, but he has to understand that even though you aren't dating or anything, you guys both like each other a lot, and along with that, there are sacrifices! You have to find the patience and time to settle him down and talk to him about it. Remind him you really do like him a lot and that YOU feel that the fact that he is very restricted makes you somewhat not-very-happy, and you want to be! If you want to respect the fact that he believes 'the male is in charge' and have no worries about that, then it is very important you remind him that you aren't being in charge, but you rather want to try out new things together. And he should sometimes get out of the comfort zone and listen to you, and try out the things you want. Tell him you feel that he is missing out on things because he doesn't want to try out new things, avoid calling him 'stubborn', he may feel like he isn't 'the male in charge'. Don't forget to let him know that you're talking to him about this because you like him, want to make it work as friends, or whatever you want to call your relationship (mind you, friendship is also a relationship), and because you care enough to experience new things with him and just do things TOGETHER! Just talk to him about it and let him know how you feel.
Ask Venzuela
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Well...this is a difficult one. Speaking from years of experience, guys don't change, they only become more of what they already are. If he's stubborn now, he'll be impossible years down the road, if he doesn't get a wake up call from someone he respects (girlfriend, mother, father, authority figure). I'm willing to bet his father is the same way.
On the other hand, some people do have a light bulb moment on their own and change their ways, but, more often than not, they don't.
That said, he is still very young and could change just as a matter of maturing and coming to the conclusion that his behavior isn't all that. Right now, he is trying to prove who he is to the world. He is in the midst of establishing his manhood and boys do act incredibly stupid around that age. So do girls. Both sexes are trying to figure out and establish their place in the world. This age group is going from being mama's child to becoming independent and showing they don't have a need for mommy and daddy. So...the peacock starts strutting his feathers in front of the girls and the guys. He's showing the girls he's a man and showing the guys he's high up on the food chain.
You have to decide if it's something you can accept or not. If you find it difficult to accept, you'll have to confront him on the issue (no puppy faces) and tell him you'd like him to be more flexible as you are the other half of the friendship and he should value your friendship. If he refuses, then you'll either have to accept it or tell him you are hurt to find out that he doesn't value your input into the relationship.
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