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"friend zone"
hi. 17/m.
whenever i get close to a girl..i always enter the "friend zone". And once i enter said zone..i cant leave. So basically, there's this girl that i like. We recently have been getting close, and i asked her out...she said "i dont want to ruin our friendship...." etc etc, and that maybe one day there may be something ( i told her it was a dare after she said no..so it wouldnt be awkward later on).
The next day, i see her and her two friends, and she walks away. When her friends see me..they just look at me...i asked the girl i like, why she was looking..she said, "nothing...dont worry...it was good..."
i think she's got here eye on another guy, but what my question iss...is...is she brushing be off politely, or does she actually think that there may be something oneday. how do i know? like body signals, etc. thanks.
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It's impossible to be positive, but if she said that there may be something in the future, then she meant it. If she didn't she would have just left it at "I don't want to ruin our friendship."
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Some signals: you'll catch her starring at you, nerviously talk to you maybe even do-up her outfit or somethin like that it sounds like shes nervious about talking to you again, if shes natrauly shy then she does like you- I know that because I'm a shy type... If you really like her, don't look back ask her for a relationship/date if she says that friendship thing again give her your honest oppion. Girls love honestity & (90% of them) prefer guys to ask them out.
Hope I helped,
Lily
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Most people automatically assign a low value to anything that comes too easily. This goes triple for dating.
Your first mistake is getting close to a girl. Sexual attraction has to come first, flirting has to come first. If you don't take your balls out for a walk and try to get a date, you wont. Its that simple.
Too many guys do the "feel a girl out" because they don't want to fuck something up.
If you like her, you can't be her friend. I'm sorry, but no. If you haven't figured that out, stop being friends with women you want to fuck. It will always turn out bad and train you in the wrong habits.
The guys who get girls are the guys who seem interested in more than friendship from the get go. Its a part of our personality. And I can tell you from personal experience, no one is born this way. Every single bit of it is learned behavior.
You are exactly where you think you are. The friend zone. I couldn't tell if you're getting the brush off, but you definitely aren't getting encouragement.
I want you to re-read the last semi-paragraph of your post. No, go ahead. I'll wait.
"Or does she actually think that there may be something oneday?"
Ok. For once, you've given us enough information to answer a question like this. Thats good, most people theres no way to know.
No, she isn't thinking about you, at all probably. She probably spends less than a minute thinking about you for every 24 hours you spend thinking about her.
How do you know doesn't matter. How do you know isn't going to help you one single bit, because what you're doing is asking us to take your absolutely terrible approach at dating and make you somehow better at it.
Instead of reading her signals, send a few of your own. Talk to her. Ask her questions. Tease her if the opportunity arises and its something she can laugh at too. Compliment the way she looks.
If you crash and burn, try to figure out what went wrong, and do something different the next time.
If you find yourself crashing and burning every time, ask why. The answer is going to suck, I promise. But if you get an answer you can work with, then you might be able to fix what you're fucking up more quickly.
But more than anything, stop finding one girl, falling for her, and then trying to date her. In all seriousness, women are people too, and there are some of them I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole. Its not some magical gift to be in a relationship, its just two people who are secure enough to admit that they want each other.
If you aren't secure enough to admit that you want a girl, then she isn't going to care about what you want. Similarly, if you can't express like without being creepy, she won't be interested.
Its like walking on a tightrope the size of a freeway. If you fall off, you're screwed, but its really not that hard to fall off as long as you can find the damn freeway in the first place.
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Either she has absolutely no interest in you but doesn't want to hurt your feelings
AND/OR
She isn't really interested but is keeping you in her back pocket 'cause it's never a good idea to say absolutely no to anyone, just in case you change your mind or get really lonely.
OR
She's flattered enough to give you chance.
You don't really need to get into reading the 'signals'. It's pretty much going to be one, or more then one, or those things.
Either way, don't sit aruond and wait. One of the reasons boys get stuck in the friend zone is because they just keep harping away at girls who only see them as friends. This turns off other women big time. So don't pine and don't wait.
You are best to assume it's not going to happen because the chances that it will are pretty small.
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