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what could this mean and what should i do next?
16f
I'm really sorry about the length, but I'm very detailed and it's hard for me not to be but I need help!
A bit over 3 weeks ago (and about a week before spring break) I admitted to my guy friend from school (we'll call him Nathan) that I liked him in sortof an unorthodox way (it was through text during chem class while he was sitting behind me, it was stupid but we;ve gotten past that). Nathan didn't respond and we didn't talk for a couple days but we started talking 2 or three days before break and the only thing i found out what that I pretty much scared the shit out of him, but that was the last time we spoke about it. A week ago we got back from break. The awkwardness is still sortof there but most of it has dissolved. Nathan's still nice to me and we've been joking around and being good friends more and more like we used to. But I was still upset that I never got a direct answer, and I wasn't happy with the idea of it never being brought up again. So I asked my friend (we'll call her Randi), who's also in our chem class and also his friend (they hang out a lot and stuff, he has several friends who are girls) to sortof bring up that she knew about what I did (because he didn't tell anyone, don't ask how i know i just do) and try to get his reaction about it and put the idea in his head. I told her not to tell him i asked, and he's pretty oblivious so he never would've figured it out on his own haha. So today Randi told me that she tried to make a conversation of it, but she really couldn’t because he’s not the type to talk about how he feels and what he’s thinking, and he’s not really easy to read either. (This is most likely why he didn’t respond when I told him)
Randi: So I know about how Mel (me) told you about how she likes you
Nathan: Yeah... she texted me about it that day
Randi: So did you text her back... (she knew the story, but he didn't know that she knew, that was the plan)
Nathan: No..
Randi: Well are you ever gonna say something/answer her? (I forgot which she said)
Nathan: ...I don't know
Randi: Well can you give me something and work with me here?
Nathan: ....I don't know
And as far as I know that's where the convo stopped. We were planning for her to say something like "I think you two would look good together", but obviously she couldn't get the convo to continue like we had planned. Anyway after she told me I was like "I don’t know what I wanna do now I mean i don't wanna be pushy you know?". And she was like "we should definitely wait a couple days." and i was like "yeah i want to do this in small doses". And i really do, I don't want to be pushy with him at all. So on my own I was thinking that on Friday i'm gonna have gym alone with Nathan since our other friend (we'll call her Tara) won't be there that day, so we'll sortof see what happens in a situation where were alone, which we haven't really had since i told him. And even though me and Nathan still have talked a lot i feel a bit disincluded from conversations recently when him and Tara talk. Another thing I kindof found interesting was that today he put So my two questions are: 1. I'm glad that he pretty much “I don’t know'ed” the situation instead of just saying that he doesn't feel the same way. I feel like that could mean something, what should I think of their conversation? Do i possibly have a chance? This never happens to me so i don't know this stuff very well. 2. What should my next step be? I definitely don't want to be too pushy, and I definitely want to do this in small doses. Like should I get her to get him to invite me somewhere when they hang out? (he has a car and knows where I live what we havent hung out yet, we're good friends but not as close as I wish we were aha) or should I get her to sortof bring it up again over the weekend or next week? I'm not quite sure I'm ready to talk to him about it myself but any suggestions would be good on what to do next.
*Please don't say things like "you shouldn't have told him you liked him so forwardly" or "give him time, he's probably just taken off guard. I already know these things, and that's not what I want to know.
Also another thing I kindof found interesting was in chem today (he sits behind me) he put his leg on this metal bar on the side of my chair, and it comes pretty close to me when he does that. This is the first time he's done this since I told him. Before I told him, he did this pretty much everyday, and I know he stopped because things were awkward. But doesn't it seem a little convenient that he started doing this the day after randi brought me up with him? I don’t know but anyway please help with my two questions! Once again I apologize for the length!
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It sounds like he is kind of unsure how he feels....though if he did like you i would think that he would answer you back but you did say that he is not very open with his emotions.
the best thing, i think you could do is act like you did before you told him. become "just friends" again and ask him to hang out maybe with a group. he already knows that you like him, and letting the idea hang there might have an effect. let him think about it. what ever you do don't have any of your friends talk to him about it again and don't bring it up. You will seem clingy then, and this is a complete turnoff to guys. He might like you better, and things might be less awkward if you just hung out as friends. play hard to get almost. act uninterested, luckily it will grab his attention. the main thing is not to act clingy. let him think that you don't like him anymore. Im sure he will end up thinking about you alot and why you have changed your mind. though you like him a lot, acting like you don't like him "like that" may just do the trick.
hope this helps!=]
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as much as you like him i really doubt he likes you "like that"
he stated you kinda scared him by telling him the first time.. that should've been a little red flag that he was only into being friends... umm i know what its like because ive been through it so the best advice i can give is for you to just be friends and move on.. clearly he wasn't man enough to respond to you the first time so dont waste your time...
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based on what you've said, i really dont think that he likes you as anything more than a friend.
if he did like you, i think that he would have told you most likely because he wouldnt have had to be afraid of regection, since you had told him already.
i dont think that you should have your friend say things like " you guys look cute together" because that will just further embaress him, and he sounds like a more reserved and shy kind of guy.
i think it sounds like you guys are good friends, and maybe things should stay the way they are.
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