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hey I'm 13 and like I've never had a bf. And sometimes I just feel so lonely. Most of my friends have boyfriends and they just seem so happy. And well I like this guy we talk just a bit over aim but thing is he's popular with people which makes it hard to talk to him during school but I just don't know I really want a boyfriend and sometimes I jus feel so disconected from the world like three times this week when my friends have said my name people are like who? And I just sit there like this is so depressing so I need ur help how to stand out .... Just something to make me feel like somebody cause right now I'm just like what to do with my life
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Everyone older than you will tell you that your problems aren't as bad as you think. They've forgotten firstly that your brain is developing and growing, that you have a hell of a lot of hormones at your age, and that you've never had to deal with the things you're going through. So for you, it's a big deal.
Now, the first thing to ask yourself whenever you're upset by anything, and this is general life advcie that will always be true, is whether you are getting upset about the right thing.
In this case, you're upset because you want to stand out. But that's not the right thing to be upset about. The Columbine High shooters managed to stand out, didn't they, but they were utterly evil bastards. I don't think you want to shoot up your school to get people to notice you. Simply standing out is not the point by itself.
The other thing is - who do you want to stand out to, anyway? Other kids at school? Why are they so special that you feel insignificant just because they don't recognise you?
If you have a boyfriend, you will have a whole lot of new challenges and new problems. What if he wants to have sex? What if he treats you badly? What if he hates your friends, or your friends hate him? Believe me, if that happens you will have to make painful choices.
I know you're lonely right now, and it seems to take forever for the school years to pass. You're still too young to have any real freedom and you don't know what you're going to end up doing with your life. I sympathise; I went through it and I'm glad for me that's over.
Focus on the things you like. Find a hobby, explore new interests. It might be an author, a band, art, sport, anything. But find out what you like. You'll be surprised how many friends you make from simply being involved in an activity - and they're real freinds because you share a common interest.
Really, the best formula is to have a few close friends (maybe just one, maybe 5 or 10) and then you have acquaintances who aren't really friends but you know and might be friendly towards.
Ask yourself this - would you have time to be best friends with absolutely everyone in your grade, anyway? No way!
Finally, when it comes to boyfriends - don't spend time with a boy simply because he's better than nothing. Wait for someone who shares your values and who you like for the right reasons. If you are tied up in a relationship when that perfect guy comes along, you won't realise it because you're distracted! It might seem like it takes forever, but this is the time in your life when you learn patience. It's not easy. But you just gotta work at it.
It'll take time, but sadness and happiness visit everyone. Your friends are happy right now, in the future they will be sad, you're sad right now, in the future you'll be happy. Just be strong through the sad times and enjoy the happy times when they come. Best of luck!
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Your only 13 years old and your worried about guys? Truth be told your friends relationships won't last that long, and then they'll be really upset. You have your entire life to worry about having a boyfriend. My advice with this guy is to just be friends with him. If something happens in the process, let it. Don't force it. I would just have a good time and enjoy life the way it is. Once you start becoming involved with guys things become really complicated, and you will probably have your heart broken tons of times. Just enjoy things as they come.
xoxo,
dottie4
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I know how much you like to have a boyfriend, and it's ok. Just focus on your studies, and don't get too carried away with him. Anyway, you dont actually need to stand out just becayse your boyfriend is popular. You just need to be yourself and tell him how you really feel.
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You're young. A lot of people don't have relationships until they're well into their teens, sometimes even later. In order to stand out, you'll have to raise your confidence. Try talking more to more people. I've always been very quiet, and in school no one knew my name. Even people I had gone to school with since I was six were like 'who?' when my name was mentioned in class. If you're feeling disconnected and lonely, you have to make the first effort to get to know people. By being quiet, people think you don't need them. They will see you as standoffish, even stuck-up at times. Try making friends with people by bringing up a topic that leaves room for opinions, or something that everyone in your class would understand. Be friendly and open to knew people, and they will surely return the friendship.
Good luck. :D
Hope this helps,
Darby
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