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how does he feel about me? what should i do?
15/f/uk
So there's this guy I like (let's call him A). He started hanging around with our friend group about a month and a half ago. The day we met, A talked to me quite a bit, made eye contact with me. The next day, everyone was saying that he thought I was really hot. However, he did have a girlfriend (G) at this point. One night after that, we were all out, a bunch of people, and it was dark and A came up to me and asked if I wanted to sit on his skateboard with him. Whenever someone asked him about G, he always acted really disinterested.
From then on, A would always smile and talk to me if he saw me at school, as well as high fiving me, staring at me a lot, and doing things like making me wear his hat. Out of school, he would always sit next to me, compliment my clothes and seemed really happy when he found out we're going to the same college next year.
Then, while I was away for a week, A and G split up. When I got up, he was the same, always looking happy to see me and hugging me all the time.
We went camping just over a week ago, and everyone told me A wanted to share a tent with me. There were actually four of us in the tent, but me and A did sleep next to each other. However, G made an appearance that night, and he did seem to talk to me less when she was around.
Then I went round his with a bunch of other people, including this girl (W), A hugged me and acted the same as usual, but I couldn't help but notice that him and W seemed pretty close. When I dropped obvious hints that I would have liked to sleep in his double bed with him, he didn't acknowledge them, and then W slept there instead.
A few days later, I was out and someone mentioned that A and W had had sex and there was something going on between them but it seemed to be a secret. It was this same day that A was constantly complimenting me, putting his arm around me and basically hanging out with me all the time. We were standing next to each other, and he just started playing with my hands and then he held my hand and didn't say anything. Later, I asked if anyone wanted to come to the cinema, A straight away said, "I'll go!" He asked who else was coming, and when I said I didn't know, he said "It'll just be me and you then." jokily. However, W showed up a bit later and then he didn't really speak to me that much.
The next day, although we didn't go to the cinema, we were both out and he kept apologising about not being able to go, and we kept making eye contact, like the kind you make when you both understand something that no one else does. But then when we were all talking, someone teased A about making a move on me (S), and A said, "No, I wouldn't make a move on S. Unless she wants me to." and then he looked me right in the eye and we just stared at each other while everyone else carried on talking :S
Later, everyone was ahead of me and A, we were walking and he put his arm around me, and then asked who I was going to prom with. I said I didn't know, and he asked me if I'd go to prom with him. Embarrassingly, I acted all shocked that he didn't have a date and asked him why he wasn't going with anyone. He said that he was going to go with G but then they broke up, and then he was going to go with W but if he did, everyone would think they were together, when they're not. So he wanted to go with me.
That night, he texted me asking if I wanted to go to the cinema the next day, just me and him. I said maybe, but then he didn't reply and the next day he still didn't, so I just went out and he did too and said that he thought I was gonna call, and then (in front of other people), "We're not gonna be alone now then..". Later he made me promise him I'd go with him sometime soon, and referred to it to someone else as "our first date."
A couple days ago, loads of people were round, and me and him slept in the same bed and we spooned and held hands all night, and my friend said he was staring at me all the time. But then the next morning W phoned him, and someone else was talking to her and said something about me and A, and A looked really worried. He also said that W thinks he fancies me, and then joked around saying "Because I do, just kidding". But then jokily said to me that him and W were just friends. Since then, we've been texting and he always asks questions, which means he must want to carry on talking, but then he always takes ages to reply.
He's always complimenting me, saying things like, "I really like the way you dress.", "I love your (insert item of clothing here)", "You look gorgeous.", "I think you're a lovely girl.", "Your hair looks nice." etc. and although he's a bit of a charmer, I havn't noticed him complimenting any other girls half as much. He always notices little things about me, and comments on them and asks me questions about them. He ALWAYS sticks up for me and helps me out and asks me about my interests.
I'm pretty sure he likes me, but the problem is know there's also something going on between him and W.
How can I:
get him to like me more?
move our relationship forward?
find out more about him and W
and, What do you think everything he's done means?
Please don't tell me to give up on him, because I've already decided I'm not going to do that.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
To me, it's obvious that A likes you. It's possible that he did have sex with W or have some sort of thing going on with her, but I feel like his relationship with W is one thing and he wants to be with you in a different way. If he has slept with W, I think their relationship is purely sexual, whether she wants it to be more or not.
I feel like A really cares about you and isn't so shy that he won't bring it up to you, but is waiting for a sign from YOU. Not doing anything or playing hard to get at this point is not going to help you out. Be direct. Do you want to go out on a date with just him? Tell him you'd really like to go out with just him. He obviously really wants to go out with just you, too.
I wouldn't ask him about W. Doing so would make you seem jealous. If you are jealous, that's fine, but A isn't going to want to know that. For now, just BE DIRECT. If he compliments you so much, try complimenthing him back.
If you and A end up taking your relationship forward, then ask him about W.
Hope everything works out and you have fun at prom!!
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Hey that was long and king of counfusing with the letters, but ill try and answer your question the best I can(:
Alright it sounds like G is into you but it also sounds like W and G have a thing going on too. If I was you I would play hard to get. You said he takes a long time to text you back, starting now you should wait around 10-15 minutes before you text him back. I doubt G is just going to think your not interested in him, if anything I think it will make him more focused on trying to get your attention and in that case stop talking to W as much because he is so focused on whats going on with you. Dont over due it though, if G invites you to the cinema and you are free and want to go let him know that you can make it and that you would enjoy going but at the same time act 50% interested and 50% not interested ; most guys like a chase. If he comes up to you at school and tries and holds your hand just move it casually look at him in the eyes and smile. If he compliments you just say Thank-you followed by a quick smile(: And if you do want to text him one night if he doesnt before you write something simple like hey! Basically play hard to get. He will fade away from W because he is trying to get all your attention on him. Therefore he will be way more interested in whats going on with you. Leave him wanting more(;
Hope I helpedd!
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