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Label Me Letdown.
poetry slam is tuesday and this is the poem i want to use adn i was wondering if anyone had any idea on how to mkae it better or there opinion on it.
thanks.
Label Me Letdown.
Please just make this easier on yourself,
And let me be by myself.
Let me be self destructive,
Let me pretend it’s productive.
Leave me alone,
Don’t say “I Can’t Handle It On My Own.”
Let me prove you wrong.
Let me show you that I’m strong.
Show me that you ‘care’,
By not pretending to be unaware.
Let me suffer in silence,
Let me have your acceptance.
Appreciate that I try,
Don’t ask me “why?”
Let me remain unknown.
Let me handle it on my own.
Stop trying to be there,
Don’t expect me to share-
Let me keep my thoughts locked up,
Let me know you wont be shocked.
Just Label Me Letdown,
Promise me you’ll be around.
Let me wish you the best,
Let me hope you live life to the fullest.
Label Me Letdown.
Just let me shutdown.
alright.
tell me what you think.
how can I make it better?
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I think that you are very talented and that your poem flows very well. It's a little depressing but inspite of this or because of it I find that I relly like it. The only thing I could see that you could do different(not saying that it is necessary,) is the last line in the 4th paragraph where you say "Let me handle it on my own." Maybe you could change it to something like Let me be all my own. The only reason I suggest this is because you have a line in the 2nd paragraph that is almost identical. Just my personal oppinion. Hope you aren't offended.
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