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friend led me on, but said we were dating
Basically, a friend and I became really close to eachother. We'd been friends for a few months, but that was it. And then the new semester started and we just started talking a lot more, calling each other at night, and texting, too. (this occured around the beginning of January). So every weekend, we would go out with each other. Basically just the two of us. I started to crush on him, and I thought possibly that he was crushing on me. However, the first weekend in February he said he didn't want a relationship right now. I knew this already (even though I hoped he'd change his mind) because of a phone conversation we had late one night in January. Well, I accepted us just being friends and we continued with our friendship as if everything were normal. The next weekend was Valentine's Day and we rented a movie and watched it at his house. At first, it started as the two of us next to eachother on the couch, then he grabbed my hand and we were holdiing hands. Soon, I was laying against him (trying to not fall asleep). I really liked it, it was romantic and he was so sweet and caressing my fingers. But a week ago he'd said he didn't want a relationship. So of course I was a bit confused, yet I let it slide. The next week went by and he'd told his friends we were BF/GF and he was going to "officially" ask me out.We went out again that Friday night. Eventually, it came to the point where we were making out in the backseat, something I swore I'd never do. I'd also made a promise to remain virtuous until marriage so that was avoided that night. But what makes me mad, is at the end of that night, he said "I just want to be friends, I don't want a relationship. I'm sorry for leading you on for so long." It made me wonder if all he wanted was sex even though at the start of our friendship, our friendship, we'd both talked about how we believed in no sex until marriage. We agreed to still be friends after that night, but I was so angry at him that I told him I'd need time. The next week was a little awkward and we didn't talk much. But that Friday he wanted to hang out, and I said I was busy. I guess I kept a grudge because it seems I was always the one to start getting angry. And after that, anytime we talked we always ended up arguing. It finally got to the point where, he said "I don't know why I ever kissed you" and I replied with "I'm sorry I somehow screwed everything up and for everything I ever did to you. I'm sorry I thought we could still be friends. I don't know what I did. before I make things worse, happy early birthday." We had made plans a long time ago to go out for his birthday. Obviously that never happened. And we'd also made plans to go to his prom, which is in one week (4/25). And that's not happening either. Recently, it's been somewhat easier to talk to him (if you can call it a conversation if it's simple questions with simple answers) because we're working on an assignment as a group for banquet. He still says we're friends. He says he likes to tease me. I'm no longer mad at him, angry at him, or hate him. I want to be friends, he was my best guy friend! I guess I'm trying to figure out if it's time for me to let him go and stop crushing on him (because I've still got unreceding feelings for him, no matter what I do) or if we can at least be friens, if there's something still there. I just don't know anymore. I really don't know what's the best thing to do in a situation like this.
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Well if there is something there it's going to be hard to be friends. But if you feel that you can be friends and let that feeling go and let him go then I think you should be friends. Because if you don't work out as a couple doesn't mean you can't be friends. It sounded like he was leading you on though. To tell you the truth any guy will tell you what you want to hear as long as he thinks he has a chance. He's a guy what else can you say. You guys just to need to re start your friendship and just start over. What else can you do. But some people who have a romantic history don't make it as friends. So if you don't make it as friends please don't be surprised. Sometimes it just ends up that way. You guys will eventually move on from each other and you guys will forget that it ever happened. So just hang in there and if you guys were meant to be friends then it will happen.
Good Luck!
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wow that really sucks im sorry.
something similar happened to me and its hard to know when they actually mean what they say.
but you have to realize that its beena while since that insedent and he was probably confused about his feelings for u and didnt mean to hurt you. i hope u can forgive but also make it clear that what he did was not okay.
good luck!
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wow! u really have a dilema, i can say from my point of view that if your really close with him tell him how u feel, regardless if you don't think he'll like you. i mean you've gone on and off sort of already so you have nothing to lose really, or if you feel uncomfortable with that just try getting over him, it sounds dorky but friendship is waay better than relationships. you have plenty of time to worry or care about this now, enjoy your friendship b/c it sounds like you've cared to much if your friend doesnt bother making the first step (and usually the guy does) hope this helped,
muslimah
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