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Re: Boundary Between Friendship and Love
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"I'd say that if you feel like you need to spend A LOT of time with a friend, and you care for everything they do, it is on the verge of becoming more serious, rather than 'friend love'."
Wanting to spending a lot of time? Well, I can't really say. I have many acquaintances, but few friends, only three--two males, one female. And naturally I hang out with the two male friends more often than than the female, and of course I talk more openly to my male friends (because, you know, there are some subjects you best talk when there's no girl around, hehehe), not to mention that she has her own female friends to hang out with.
I do enjoy our time together, though not often do I have such an opportunity. (Whenever we go somewhere, like to the movie or amusement park, we usually go in ground of six or eight, you know, the more the merrier.) But nevertheless, it's just basic male-female attraction. I highly doubt there's anything romantic in that.
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"Do you feel jealous/annoyed when s/he's with someone of the opposite sex from him/her? And do you feel as if you need to let him/her know that you care about him/her a lot?"
To begin with, I am a male, xD.
And jealousy? Ah, well, most likely none. More like, it's curiosity. When I know that some guy asked her out on a date, I do secretly tail them sometimes, but I usually get someone to go with me, too.
It's hard to tell because she never really gone out with anyone yet. (She's one of those people with the policy of never kiss until after the 3rd date, and apparently she hasn't gone on a second date with anyone yet. All of them got dumped after the first date. I don't know the reason though.)
Nevertheless, I tailed them because I wonder what would happen during hte date. We've been friends since 7th grade anyway, and now we both in 11th grade. I don't think it's weird to be curious about that (although it's invading their privacy, I must admit that, but it's tough to control your curiosity, you see.)
And nope, I don't feel like it.
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"Also if you're not sure of the other person's position in your friendship, look out for signs.
If they reflect what you feel, then that should answer your question :)"
Well, for one thing, I'm pretty sure that she doesn't interest in a relationship, seeing as she has a history of immediately dumping four guys right after the first date.
Secondly, I would like to keep being just as "friends," too. High school relationships are very fragile and bound to be crumble. Besides, the more complex something is, the more potential problems it has. Not to mention that we'll go separate ways as soon as we enter college anyway (I'm majoring in Biology and minor in Psychology; she's majoring in Chemistry and minor in Math).
If I know that it's not going to work out right, why start it anyway? So . . . yeah, I just wanted to know where I am stand so I could either remain at that place or step back.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
So, now that I have more information perhaps I can be more helpful.
If you want to maintain this close friendship, then you're definitely at the right position...
You keep it balanced therefore it doesn't give off a "romantic" vibe and you don't do things that you'd do to someone you're desperate to date.
As with the dates, just because she dumps a guy after the first date, it probably means that she hasn't found the right guy, rather than not being interested in having a relationship, but it could be either. I have plenty of female friends who just go on one date because throughout the date they discover that the guy is an asshole or whatever.
My dating relationship with my best male friend didn't work out, so you're sensible not to pursue getting together with her. Usually it's hard to date someone who is a really close friend.
So yeah, to me it seems that your position is fine if you want to keep things as they are now, there's nothing romantic in this friendship between you and her, so nothing threatens it.
It's good to have a close friend whom you've known for a long time and can rely on but you don't have to have a romantic relationship with. Because you seem to be good as you are, this will last a lot longer, in contrary to the high school relationships you referred to, that often fail, which I definitely agree with.
I hope this finally answered your question :)
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